30 | who cares ??

hi procrastinating on my homework

today was an ok day, I spent most of it hanging around my boyfriend. We went out on a date together and took zaza. Gonna quit taking it after this week so I can pass drug tests when I apply for jobs )),,:

later on today, I got an email that gave a public list of people who wrote thank you notes for our graduation ceremony and the number of people who still need to submit theirs. Apparently they did it because someone didn’t submit their name with their thank you note and they wanted to find out who did it… but honestly it just came off as public shamey. They could very well get the name from the form they handed out?

Like I know they were desperate for responses but not THAT desperate. Literally it’s not even a required thing, what’s the big deal? If anything I’m not going to write one for sure now, and I’m even more glad I’m not involving myself in graduation at all. I don’t see the point in celebrating these shitty four years and debt.

TW : sexual harassment

other day at work I was talking with a patient who I was warned can make pretty inappropriate comments. Even though I complain a lot about being socially awkward and stuff, I’m actually not too bad at getting along with difficult patients. You’d be surprised with how much a smile and a cheery disposition will get you. However, this really backfired on me that day. Their comments started innocent enough?? But got progressively more inappropriate.

I don’t understand why I defended them after they said something so inappropriate. I’ve never had someone say something like that to me that I guess it didn’t fully sink in. I feel bad for condoning that behavior, and I’m glad another patient spoke up. It made me realize that having an eager to please personality can enable people to treat others poorly. Eugh not to mention the way they were looking at me from behind and the pet names

Shifts have been all VERY busy and understaffed lately. Haven’t been able to take a lunch break for the past two! Last shift they put me into a COVID observation room and my god the heat combined with my protection gear had me fighting not to pass out.

ended that shift covered in so much poopoo my uniform was so stained loll, but honestly that stuff never bothered me that much.

kind of had a break through with my pre work anxiety. The thought that I don’t have to let people dictate the way I feel helps a lot. Like people can be mean to me and I can feel emotions about it in the moment but i can choose if it really impacts me long term. I find that very comforting.

bye bye