another rant but it's sad this time

Being trans is balls dookie butt cheeks bro. The process is so long. First you gotta come out to family and try to navigate through each person's questions and judgements. You gotta come out at school which comes with a whole bunch of decisions and new things you gotta figure out. What name is being said at graduation? In the yearbook? On your email? Will my parents even allow me to make these decisions on my own? What bathroom do I use? Jesus and god forbid you have a substitute and aren't allowed to have your name changed on the roll sheet. I mean I constantly have to bite my tongue just cause of how many people make the stupidest comments about it or can't connect the dots on what the hell I am. I don't even wanna get into the dysphoria itself. I hate that I have to get into that every time someone asks "well how do you know you're a boy?" Fuck and you can just forget about dating. Right now the worse part is I don't even see a chick when I look in the mirror, but knowing that's what other people see tricks my mind into seeing it, if that makes sense. I mean even if society was more understanding of the whole thing, just being transgender itself is a real life curse. Just the constant thoughts of how unfair it all is and feeling cheated all the time. Yk what also sucks is I could have it even worse. At least I'm allowed to dress how I want, bind, and somewhat socially transition. Although even after I turn 18 I won't be fucking allowed to transition as long as I'm living with my mom, so it just seems so pointless all the progress I've made. I never asked for this. I don't wanna be in the same place I am now well into my 20s, that thought actually hurts my head and my eyes christ. Honestly what's keeping me going is knowing at least I'll be #sexy when it's all over ig and that I had the strength to get through it. Also seeing that other people have gone through the whole damn thing. BUT UNTIL THEN I FEEL LIKE I'M AT MY LIMIT ALL THE TIME RN (ik there's a lot of transgenders on this site that's why I'm ranting here)