Feeling silly 😋 (vent)

9:53 am

“I guess I should stop looking out for you, like I always do

When will you start looking out for me, too

Instead of leaving me staring at my shoes?” -Joy Again 

Lately I’ve been feeling really isolated, even tho I’m surrounded by people. Everything is just so quiet when you’re sitting waiting for your phone to ring. My whole life, I’ve never once been someone’s first choice. No one has ever wanted me. 

I can count all my friends on one hand, yet not one of them has ever invited me to hang out. My whole life, I’ve fought to keep one way relationship’s afloat, but I think I’m done. You don’t get a free pass to my life anymore. You have to earn my trust, and work for my attention. 

From now on, I’m going to let people lose me. 

You know what they say,

If you love it, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, it was never your’s in the first place. 

I don’t think I’ll ever be anyone’s first choice. I think I’ve figured out how to accept that. 

All I really want is someone to care for and hold tight. I want someone I can love with all of me, is that too much to ask? I want someone to say that I am their sun, their rock, their everything. Even if it’s a lie. I want someone to lie, to make me believe I’m the one they want, even if it’s just for a day. 

I just want someone of my own. 

Anywhoo, sorry this makes me look like an absolute loser lol just had to get it off my chest 

Bye for now, love you pookies