Why am I so lonely?

This existence is so lonely and isolating. I am so unsure how to interact with others and how to make friends. It's so upsetting this life I am so unfulfilled. The only thing keeping me going is my boyfriend and Eric H4rr1s and Dylan K1eb0ld sadly. They are part of the reason why I am still here today. I feel less lonely when I read the journals of Dylan and Eric. I find comfort reading their thoughts and connecting to them on a deeper level. Right now I feel like I do not connect with anyone and its killing me inside. Unable to form a basic human connection. I wish I had some friends like Eric and Dylan. Just one person to do everything with, to connect with. Anything. 25 years I have spent alone and its draining I miss connecting with humans in person. I am fine online but I have no one in person to make that connection with. Everything feels so distant. I miss when I was younger and filled with love and life. I need those feelings back. its mostly depression and sadness. I really am losing so much hope, I cant believe my life turned out like this. after everything I thought I would be someone and amount to something but I am currently nothing and it feels terrible. I don't think anyone even cares. I have disappeared from society two years ago and i have been wallowing in this lonely depressed state. it feels so empty. life is meaningless.