my first stand-up comedy routine [02/08/984]

so i called up snapple, right?

and i asked them if they could start sending me the daily facts by pigeon instead of text,

because i was tired of them blowing up my phone.

and they said

"please. let me know if you're joking."

and i said 

"no, no! i'm just curious like... like i thought i'd at least ask because if you guys do have delivery by pigeon i don't wanna be the one asshat in my dnd campaign still using web service."

and they said

"i think you know the answer to the question you are asking." and they hung up on me!

have you ever been hung up on by a manufacturer of refreshing beverages??!!

does NOT go down so smooth.