How terminally online are YOU?

Some of us are extremely online these days, some of us terminally so. For each listed below that applies, please go and touch one blade of grass.

1. You can give a cohesive definition of an “anti-shipper.”

2. You have used the term “unalive” out loud.

3. You have referred to an animal as some cutesy name established on the Internet, ex: doggo, pupper, bnnuy, catto, et cetera (touch a blade of grass for each one).

4. You have referenced a meme in an in-person conversation, touch an additional blade of grass if you had to explain it to the person you were talking to.

5. You are familiar with a political-themed online streamer (touch one blade of grass for each one additional blade for each offensive nickname their detractors call them that you are aware of).

6. You have watched a modern Scorsese film-length video essay on a niche topic that you are not academically or professionally involved in.

7. You can give a detailed description of a conspiracy theory that gained traction in the twenty-first century.

8. You have recognized a scene from a movie or show after having previously seen it in a meme.

9. You know what “height gap discourse” refers to.

10. You have referred to a single person as “maidenless” (touch an additional blade of grass if used for someone not even attracted to women).

11. You absent-mindedly reached for the “find word” function while reading a physical book.

12. You own a piece of merchandise (shirt, sticker, et cetera) with a meme on it (touch a blade of grass for each one).

13. You have produced a piece of AI art.

14. You know what a Sigma Male is.

15. You can recognize more than five pride flags on sight (other than the rainbow, the Monica Helm trans flag, the bear flag, the BDSM flag, or any of the myriad of lesbian flags older than the “lipstick lesbian” flag, all of which predate the modern Internet and usually required leaving the house quite a bit to recognize on sight).

16. You have spelled it “tiddies.”

17. You are familiar with terms popularized by TV Tropes.

18. You at  some point believed that “your brain is all done changing at twenty-five” myth.

19. You spent more than twenty minutes looking into drama by two or more social media figures (touch an additional blade of grass if they were not even people you followed).

20. You know what a “catboy” is.

21. You have watched a livestream by choice (touch a blade of grass for each streamer).

22. You have said “LOL” out loud instead of laughing (touch an additional blade of grass if you pronounced it “lol” instead of spelling the acronym).

23. You have discovered a musical artist because their song was featured in a fanvideo.

24. You have strong opinions about the cutoff years of the different generations (as in baby boomers, generation z, et cetera).

25. You are familiar with the phrase “touch grass.”

How many blades of grass did you have to touch? I lost count of my own because they all apply multiple times over.