29 | eepiest mf

hi everynyan a long post before the 8 hour shift.

spent a good lot of the past couple of the days hanging out with friends and family. My cousin from Florida came over cause he wanted to try snowboarding out in my state. an impressive guy always looking to try something new and traveling to places

we did both roller skating and snowboarding. I picked up roller skating pretty fast and enjoyed that quite a bit.

I also did like snowboarding even though I was very bad it, but also I would never do it again LOL. Two days later and my ass still feels so bruised.

at some point after climbing up that damn hill so much and falling I kind of thought to myself:

seeing my cousin so involved and snowboarding kinda made me realize that I don’t really care for thrill seeking activities or outdoorsy stuff. It’s made me think about how whenever my family would bring me out to do stuff like hiking, siteseeing or traveling out the country, I always felt like it was kinda corny and a waste of time and money. It was weird to me because these are things that I know that are *supposed* to be enjoyable, but quite frankly I could give half a shit about it.

I think it’s because I already get stressed out doing like, the most basic things. It’s hard for me to get up, do tasks, talk to people and even things like hygiene. I don’t need thrill seeking activities to get my heart rate up because honestly, it feels like everything to a certain extent makes me nervous and scared. I have to force and pull myself to do things to the point where it feels like I don’t have energy for anything else anymore.

my ass fr just wants to just rest and sleep all day. I don’t have any big overarching goals or anything, I just want to feel comfortable and secure.

catch you guys later