Report Blog Entry
i didnt feel like writing today. didnt wake up feeling the best. laid in bed for an hour or two hungry, scrolling on my phone. i slept maybe 5 hours tonight. i tried going to sleep again but i couldnt. i wonder why there are days where i just wake up feeling like a different person. is this really me and my usual self is just an ego. they're both me. i feel like i've secluded this part of myself to everyone around me. not once have i talked about what day's like these are to me. i dont mind this state of being much either. there is a comfort i find in my sickness. sometimes i wish i was sicker, so that i could call out and tell the world im sick. this mood usually lasts 5 days once it hits, which then i will get out of and act like my heart has never known dark. recycle. im not complaining. after all this is a direct result of who i am and how i am. there is a joy in seeing myself go down, sort of a "i knew this was gonna happen" kind of when you can guess what happens in a show. im extremely sensitive, yet i will deny all claim of it, as the act of being sensitive disrupts my sensativity. is feeling like this not selfish? people have it worse, what right do i have. i hate giving people problems, i hate inconveniencing people, i hate opening up, i hate looking weak, i hate asking for help, i hate people worrying about me, i dont want anyone to change how they look at me. there is no desire to improve. its me.
my mood has improved since i woke up! I was feeling like shit but i think writing about it actually made me process it a lot better than usual (゜。゜)! talking to my friends also made me feel a lot better! im glad i have the friends that i do. they're actually my everything (✿˃̣̣̥‸˂̣̣̥᷅ ). there is a friend thats really struggling right now, and even though she's going through a tough time she still has it in her to help me w. her heart is too pure for this world, i want to make sure she keeps that. i also just found out that my dad is making it inside the united states tomorrow... im happy crying right now. my love for my dad is immeasurable, we will finally be able to see each other regularly instead of every 4-5 years. my day has turned completely upside down. im not very good at expressing happiness, but im like a flower blooming right now.
i ended up hanging out with my friends right up until going to sleep!! i didnt even finish the blog yesterday( º﹃º ). even if i wake up in a bad mood or something bad happens or anything at all is wrong. As long as i have my friends with me ill be alright. and if you become my friend...maybe youll fall in love with me☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu !! there is nothing the power of friendship cant abolish!!!! LOVE FOREVEER!!!!!ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡
Today's mood was... *guitar riff* HAPPY!!!!!!!
Today's song was.... anybody can find love (except you.)!!
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )