FEBUARY 2024

  --[WEEK 1]--
---FEB/5/2024---
   --9:00 AM--
current status: a little panicked
so haha i may have a little problem
nothing serious haha
oh who am i kidding this is bad
this is very bad
my hypno ring's ring part broke
luckily the part that induces the hypnosis is unharmed
but the part that makes it a RING broke
it should be pretty easy to fix but it's hard to not panic about things like this y'know???
close calls like this really tend to shake me up

--update: 10:30 AM--
current status: better than before
today we had to take a career test
i already know what i'm gonna be when i grow up so this doesnt really mean all that much to me
george and harold got the results of author and illustrator respectfully
i cant say i'm not surprised
besides that news i finally figured out my class periods for the day
i was in quite a rush this morning so i didn't quite know what classes i had today
until now i mean
speaking of school, i need to write my to do list for the next two days

-fix The Ring
 ^ps: FIRST PRIORITY 
-finish online reading lessons  finished at 2:40 PM
-finish Charlotte Doyle Chapter 12 review questions  finished at 10:50 AM
-finish 7.2 B math questions  finished at 4:00 PM
 finish vocabulary worksheet  finished at 11:06 AM

i guess thats all i have on it for now??? i'll add when i have work to do (which shouldnt take long)

--update: 11:00 AM--
current status: recharging
i didnt have any history homework from mrs ribble, weirdly
now i have mr dayken for spanish again
i have no clue where our last spanish teacher went but he didnt like me
which was also weird because i was pretty sure i did well in his class
anyways mr dayken likes me well enough so this class is normally my chance to recharge
specifically on days when certain people (cough cough krupp cough cough) are on my case about it
my father has a meeting today, but recently he's started working at home too
i have no idea if he'll be home or not when i get back from school and that kinda freaks me out
i don't know why though
he's not suspicious of me or anything so it really shouldnt mess with me
i think its the uncertainty of his presence that scares me
i won't know he's there until i see hes there
the fact i don't know something causes my mind to spiral into overdrive because i normally know these things
and when i don't my brain doesnt know what to do
i mean thats my theory
maybe i'm just overthinking it again

--update: 2:00 PM--
current status: working
i have a bit of work to do now (finally) from mrs redd so i'll add that to my list really quickly
there we go
we had to learn about some heavy stuff today
like trafficking and stuff
i think the rest of the class is a little too young to learn about things like that
but mrs redd DOES like making kids miserable and terror DOES technically fit the bill
anyways i'm afraid i might have a bit of homework left over after today
sad i know
i was really looking forward to finishing everything early too
there goes my quick completion streak

---FEB/6/2024---
   --8:45 AM--
current status: a little better than usual
i'm at homeroom right now but i felt a need to blog this
this morning my mother told me that my tone and 'the way i talk to her' has been getting better
thats pretty good to know in my opinion
now i'll cause less suspicion at school since i wont act out as much
at least i think i wont
my grades HAVE been getting better overall too
the only one i really need to work on right now is reading
and that one wasnt even my fault
i was absent and the reading teacher (shes new so i forget her name for now) didnt tell me anything about any assignments i missed and now she wont let me make them up
my mother seemed a little concerned about this
i couldnt stop her from checking as i usually do since she has exclusive access to my grades that even i dont have
she looked concerned about me since i dont normally let my grades drop this much
i think i'll be okay though
its not like its the end of the WORLD
i just need to get a couple A's and i'll be fine
in other news i just got a flier for some school dance
it says it's theme thing is 'a starry night'
i'm amazed krupp ran out of ideas to make school dances suck ass after only three years
or maybe he just gave up
but that doesnt sound like him
this flier is horrible at being informative
theres almost no other information on this fucking thing
whatever i'll figure more out about this dance at some point
maybe i'll ask krupp later
i can't believe i already wrote this much and it isn't even 9:00 yet
sorry
i'll try and shut up a little longer than usual to make up for it

--update: 10:30 PM--
current status: confused
i think this is one of the only times i've ever WANTED to ditch school
i know shocking right???
well i got this form from this long ass assembly thing and its about choosing electives
i chose computer science and stuff of the sort revolving around tech
but apparently i need my parents to sign it so it can be approved
in other news, i have more work to do
i havent been that stressed about work lately but i think its starting to catch up to me
math and reading due tomorrow??? and probably science too???
jeez im not gonna have any time to recharge at this rate
i've recently learned that my father was right and break periods do help my brain
so depending on my schedule i have 'recharge' periods i've marked in my itinerary
spanish on the days i have history and reading and art on days where i have math and science like today
sadly my schedule does flip flop around though so my recharge period for today (art) is at the END of the day
for once im anticipating art class more than science class
mr jasper gave us a project where we get to draw something using adjectives and nouns and stuff like that
i'm drawing valentino from hazbin hotel purely because he was the first thing i thought of when i saw the word i got was 'poison' 
anyways we're moving to science class now
were gonna have a test today
an important one
i sure hope i'll do well

--update: 12:30 PM--
current status: dying of anticipation
i have no clue how i did on my test but i cant WAIT to leave this classroom
i didnt get any science homework and i managed to get like half of my math homework done too 
^small update from five minutes later^
i'm at lunch now (finally)
as usual it smells like fucking DOGSHIT in here
and of course they're sitting near me
wonderful
george and harold and their little 'crew' is sitting in front of me if you couldnt tell from my sarcasm
they're rowdy and irritating and they keep hitting my computer because they have ZERO SPACIAL AWARENESS
why do i always pick the WORST place to sit???
i dont think they even notice me which is good
i dont WANT to be noticed by them anyways
if they DID notice me i wouldnt be typing here right now because my computer would probably be smashed or something
i cant TAKE their noise i swear
i am THIS CLOSE to screaming at them to shut the fuck up
but my attitude problems have been 'getting better' according to the adults
if i scream it'll probably cause suspicion
plus i'd rather them leave me alone and keep avoiding suspicion than talk to them for more than ten minutes and snap
i cant believe i just said that
i WISH i could argue with them without causing suspicion but i CANT
whatever i can totally shut up for more than ten minutes cant i???
i've rambled more than i can afford to today anyways
i weirdly feel kinda guilty about that
even though i can do whatever the fuck i want on this blog
weird huh??? i never feel this way revolving around TALKING of all things
i wonder if theres a reason for that

---FEB/7/2024---
   --8:45 AM--
current status: anxious (as usual)
today we got a scientific journal in the mail
turns out my mother got an experiment of hers published in it
shes not as well known as my dad so that was a pretty good way to start my morning
the only thing thats really making me anxious is the fact that i forgot to do my reading homework (i think??? still not sure and its freaking me out)
my recharge period is at the end of the day AGAIN and i slept wrong AGAIN ON TOP OF THAT so i might be more crabby than i normally am when writing today
i'm in history at the moment and its stressing me out a little too
my teachers are all of a sudden really focused on careers and colleges
i mean not like i dont focus on that all the time
but you get my point
they keep giving us forms and computer surveys
i always get the same thing 
but although stressful and redundant i find it kinda nice to bubble in things im interested in
sometimes i find something that catches my eye that kinda surprises me

--update: 9:30 AM--
current status: a little more freaked out
so uh 
haha
i received my recommendation for my history class from mrs ribble
and i might have a problem
so uh
theres two history classes next year
regular and AP
and according to mrs ribble AP history is HARD
like 2 HOURS OF HOMEWORK HARD
and haha
guess who just got for recommended for that course???
wonderful.
i mean i LIKE advanced workloads and shit
but like holy crap i'm not sure i can survive this 
WHICH IS SAYING A LOT
erica got recommended too and i cant say im not surprised
she's amazing
but i'm pretty sure we're the only ones that got in
which means i wont know ANYONE in that class next year
i mean it means no george and harold which is ALWAYS a plus
but a class with TWO HOURS of homework and NO ONE from our school there???
it fills me with a weird mix of anticipation and dread
speaking of those two george and harold are looking at me weird
they look a bit relieved but also a bit...uh...worried???
they shouldnt be worried for me 
we HATE eachother
when i get in that class next year i'll show them
its funny what a weird look can do to make things into a competition
it makes me a little more confident in myself and my abilities
it kinda helped with the feeling of dread too
but im not telling them our rivalry did that
not in a million years

--update: 11:10 AM--
current status: wayyy better than before
so history is over and now im in reading class
mrs redd is pretty nice to me actually so ive been doing okay
ive managed to recharge a little bit (luckily) but its almost lunch time
since its wednesday and we get out early
anyways i gotta make my to-do list for the next two days
its helping more than i thought it would originally so i assume its helping me slowly get back on track

-fix The Ring
 ^ps: fucking fix it already i know you have work but this is SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT dude
-finish 7.3 math homework  finished at 2:15 PM
-finish history questions  finished at 5:00 AM
-finish Charlotte Doyle Chapter 13 review questions finished at 1:50 PM

barely anything today but thats because we only had like one worksheet for reading due to testing still going on
anyways im at lunch now just as i said i would be
its boring here but at least i get to be alone
no george and harold to bother me
speaking of those two they took my fucking lunch table today
they normally sit in the middle of the cafeteria
i sit closest to the entrance
nowhere NEAR THEM
i swear they're doing this to mess with me
first they sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME yesterday
now they take my spot
this cant be a coincidence can it???
maybe im overthinking this again
i have been overthinking stuff a lot today anyways
more than i usually do i mean

---FEB/8/2024---
   --8:45 AM--
current status: better than yesterday
today is career day luckily
which means i most likely wont have math homework
or work at all
gee school is really making a ton of the kids feel dread about their futures lately
including me and that normally never happens
i hope this helps a little
especially since the presenters are kids parents

--update: 10:10 AM--
current status: recharging a little
oddly i have time to recharge now
in MATH CLASS of all places
miss demark has been on my ass recently though (a reason why my last entry was cut short)
but there were two presenters for this class
there was some lady i didnt know
in hindsight she was probably the mom of a kid in another class
point is she was the first one to present
she was a banker
she gave us a crossword puzzle to do as she talked
i finished it pretty quickly
george and harold clearly wanted to copy my answers
they were the last to finish (as expected)
she also gave us little mini piggy banks
she was nice (for someone in finance)
the second and last person to present was georges dad whos a lawyer apparently
he kinda took me off guard im not gonna lie to you
i honestly dont think george was expecting it either
he didnt give us anything at the end unlike the first lady
he seemed laid back but did get stern when the class wouldnt shut the fuck up
i didnt know that was really possible for an adult
being able to be both at the same time i mean

--update: 10:30 AM--
current status: still recharging my social battery
apologies for the extra update
i know todays entries are long enough
i just realized that i forgot to mention new stuff that happened in my life recently
there was an assembly the other day and i guess mrs ribble didnt like me sitting in the back row all by myself
so she told me to move up to an empty seat in the row in front of me
so i did
but i didnt WANT TO
so i moved up to the empty seat and there was this kid i dont remember seeing in class
like at ALL
he was messing around on his phone trying to make sure the teachers didnt see him
but i did
he kinda saw me next to him and jumped a little???
he put it away quickly before mumbling out a 'hi'
so i mumbled a 'hello' back
my father has wanted me to be more social recently
but he wasnt very clear on how to do that
so i just chose to sit in silence until i could figure that out
i think the kid noticed because he silently passed me his phone after about five minutes
he had opened it to the notepad app and had written something about how he just wanted to leave the assembly
i wrote back 'same' or something along those lines
he told me he went by the name gooch
he also said he already knew my name
i'd be surprised if he didnt actually
he said we had the same math class for years
im surprised i didnt recognize him
i could have sworn i knew every face in all my classes
apparently i was mistaken
this silent phone conversation went on during the assembly for several minutes
so now i assume gooch is my...acquaintance???
calling him a friend seems like we've talked more than once
which we havent
but at least my dad isnt on my case about socializing anymore

--update: 11:00 AM--
current status: surviving well enough
mr jasper changed the seating chart in art class
now my recharging period is spoiled
guess who i got seated next to???
george and harold
why do i always have the most fuCKING GARBAGE LUCK when it comes to those two bothering me???
luckily though i can recharge now at lunch
no ones talking to me 
no ones next to me
i havent gotten this good of a break in like what four days???
its nice
too nice
as much as i want to enjoy this i cant help but have a little suspicion about it
ah my luck has run short as i write this
just as i thought
these fucking second graders in the lunch line are screaming RIGHT next to me
i told them to shut up and the one screaming at the top of his lungs for no fucking reason started mocking me
i dont have the energy to deal with this kids crap 
im in the middle of recharging for gods sake
luck is on my side for once
as i write at the moment the lunch line has moved past me
now i'm alone again
it may not be peace and quiet because the lunch rooms always really fucking loud
but its good enough for me

--update: 2:45 PM--
current status: anxious but for like no reason??? 
i have finished my homework early and i now have very little to do
if my current status worries you dont worry about it
nothing is wrong i just feel bad for no reason
like actually for no reason this time
im not lying to myself about this shit
like literally nothing has happened
and i still feel shitty
maybe its just my brain in a weird anxiety mode or something
i dunno and frankly ive already lost all possible solutions for this
im too gifted to worry about this shit
luckily i get to go home in about like 20 minutes
thank god because my social battery is at its LIMIT and i can TELL if ANYONE tries to talk to me right now im going to beat their face in
and i cant afford detention
especially if i want to get into a good school like i planned to if getting into elitinati academy somehow blows up in my face
just like everything else does eventually
still detention is NOT AN OPTION and if someone even TOUCHES ME i can tell i'm going to blow up
i cant afford to have a shitty attitude anymore because its GOING to fuck me over
i just want everyone to shut the fuck up and leave me alone

---FEB/9/2024---
   --8:00 AM--
current status: nervous but relieved
today i have to turn in my career form
it was kinda a hassle to finish since i had to choose FIVE ELECTIVES and barely any appealed to me
plus uh
stuff went down last night
when i was filling out the forms
uh my father mentioned band since it was somewhere on the form
and my mother mentioned how 'it's a shame you never continued violin' or something along those lines
just as like a small comment
pretty obviously not in a mean way or anything
and i uh
i guess i was really stressed
and uhm
i dunno what happened
i just kinda broke
she didnt mean it in that way
but i still felt bad
like i wanted to cry i guess???
so i went to bed early and my mom talked to me about it
i guess its just that sometimes it feels like im wasting my talent yknow???
im super good at robotics
i LIKE robotics
but im good at violin too
i REALLY LIKE violin
its just that messing up a note on a violin makes me angrier than messing up a line of programming does
so i just quit
even though it felt like even more of a waste than continuing
after i stopped being a fucking baby my mother mentioned that she likes it when i talk these things out rather than pushing them down
and it did make me feel a little better 
even though i was being a little immature
i mean sometimes typing stuff out here helps too
if anything it helps a lot
gee sorry for the ramble
ive been losing track of how long these entries are
i'll try and shut up for a little while to make up for it

--update: 10:21 AM--
current status: a little irritated but less than usual
i know i said i'd shut up a while but this assignment changed my mind
since theres sixteen of us in this class we had to pair up into twos
and mrs ribble did the pairing
so guess who got paired up with fucking harold hutchins because she wanted to separate those two
its me i got paired with him
hes still goofing off with george somehow even though he got moved across the room next to me for the project
i think im the only one here actually researching legalism like im supposed to
everyones so loud and mrs ribbles clearly sick of it but she cant do anything because kids around the room are asking for help every other minute
so she cant scream at them
harold doesnt even have his book out
i think he forgot what we were supposed to be doing
george got paired with erica
he seems to be doing well enough
harolds very fidgety and keeps talking to everyone but me about everything but the project
im practically doing this by myself
maybe its better if i do all the work
that fucking morons idea of 'helping' would probably bring our projects grade down
its not like i dont do all my projects by myself anyways

--update: 12:37 PM--
current status: recharging again
im weirdly nervous for reading class
i feel like im forgetting some assignment for that class again
but im at a c instead of a d now so im probably okay for now
i need to work a little harder in that class though clearly
mrs redds assignments are pretty hard to remember
which is partially the reason i write to do lists in here now
fuck just waiting here is stressful
why that is i have no fucking clue
i guess knowing somethings coming but being unable to prepare accordingly fucks me up a little

--update: 2:30 PM--
current status: feeling way better
i remember what i forgot
my reading homework
luckily no one else did it either
although mrs redd loves flunking kids she refuses to be unfair about it
which is pretty odd for a teacher here in my personal opinion but who am i to argue???
anyways because we ALL missed the homework it became classwork for this class instead
it now sits finished on my desk
everyone else is currently reading the book we were assigned to
i am not because i read up to chapter 21 and we are reading up to chapter 15
therefore im ahead and have some free time
i finished my math homework early as well which is always a plus
im amazed with how much homework i manage to get done in this class 
speaking of which i better cross off the stuff i finished
there all marked
from what i know i finished all my work today
that didnt take that long
i mean i have to continue research into the ring 
but like besides that everything is practically done
ive never been so relived
well maybe that one time when i had to fight zorxette klaxette and jenniferette with extremely graphic violence without
uh
without you-know-who
yeah thats what ill call him here why the fuck not
point is im so excited to go home
ive never been excited to leave school before
only ever been excited towards things
like inventions
its kinda weird but i assume this is how george and harold feel right now
theyre currently staring up at the clock desperately
i personally feel better watching them grow more and more bored by the hour
but thats just my grudges and sadism toward them talking
i do understand why theyre so antsy now however
it feels like every five minutes is a million years
at least i dont have to worry about any more piles of homework today

  --[WEEK 2]--
---FEB/12/2024---
   --8:00 AM--
current status: well rested (for once)
yesterday was superbowl sunday
personally me and my family dont care about such things and normally only watch for the halftime show
but everyone at school seems to be talking about it
again i dont personally care for this shit
but unfortunately george is currently rambling about it to harold
petty player drama and stats and how 'unfair' it was that kansas won
its getting old real quick
my computer barely charged last night so now i have to conserve my power
i cant believe i forgot to do that shit
i normally remember stuff like that
oh
well my prayers seem to have been answered
gooch was nice enough to lend me a charger
i think he switched homerooms but the reason why is beyond me
now hes been placed next to me
in the back of the room
at least i have a charger now

--update: 11:00 AM--
current status: exhausted again
getting a good nights sleep for once didnt do SHIT
it just ended up exhausting me quicker
i finished all my math homework already which is good
but now i have science which ill probably have homework for
i also have that history project to do so i might as well write all of this stuff down now

-history project 
-science guided reading  finished at 12:30 PM
 science acceleration problems  finished at 1:00 PM
-reading worksheet i think

good enough
it smells like fucking tar in here
i hate every second of smelling this shit from the stupid roof repairs theyre doing
we dont even need roof repairs i have no clue why theyre doing this
its freezing in here too even with my sweater on
science class is basically a room of suffering for everyone right now
including me
normally i would be reveling in others misery
but no im fucking freezing to death in my seat
i cant believe im expected to solve graphs for slope in these circumstances

--update: 12:00 PM--
current status: intrigued
in science class we learned about acceleration and such
it helped me regain my curiosity
i dont think ive ever calculated uh you-know-whos abilities
specifically how fast he can fly and things like that
i might want to run some calculations sometime
if he'll let me of course
if i remember correctly he creates mini sonic booms sometimes when he takes off
sonic booms are caused by flying at or over the speed of sound which it 343 meters per second
so he MUST be going faster than that when hes at full speed
my point is this stuff fascinates me
^small update from five minutes later^
im currently at lunch
my last entry got cut short due to me receiving more work to do
so apologies for that
anyways in other news i recently joined a science association
we meet on wednesdays apparently
and its age range is up to 18 years old too so sometimes there ARE high schoolers there which kinda freaks me out
this group is from like what 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM??
i dunno ive only been there twice
i dont think the people there really like me
maybe im just antisocial in public
ive been told i seem like i want to be left alone all the time and truth be told thats absolutely right
but like sometimes i dont MEAN to seem like that
im just not good at talking to people when i dont know what they want from me
george and harold are exceptions obviously
speaking of those two 
they chose to sit next to me
which means their crew is sitting AROUND ME
they arent talking to me
but now i KNOW theyre trying to mess with me
last week they TOOK MY SPOT and SAT NEAR ME ON PURPOSE
now theyre doing it AGAIN
and i cant do anything because i cant afford to have a shitty attitude anymore
i just wanna go to art class man
is that so much to ask???

---FEB/13/2024---
   --8:00 AM--
current status: a little scared
so im in homeroom at the moment but im kinda freaking out
you remember that history project i was partnered with HAROLD of all people to do???
well i cant remember if its due today or on like thursday
if its due today were SCREWED
im only halfway done and harold hasnt done SHIT for his half
my history grades gonna drop and itll be all his fault
and i was doing good for once too!!! i only have one c now!!!
if harold fucking hutchins makes my history grade go to shit im actually going to murder him
ughhhhh im overreacting
ill probably be fine
sorry about that i just needed to calm down a little
in other news i have spanish today so i should have a recharge period at some point
i cant remember when though which sucks ass
we'll just have to wait and see
today is also the thirteenth so i have to prepare for valentines day too
i made homemade valentines this year
i wanted them to feel special i guess??? im not exactly sure why i did it
i even made one for george and harold (reluctantly) but they were REQUIRED to get one so
i hope the cards turn out well
i mean I MADE THEM of COURSE they'll turn out good
but i guess i mean i hope everyone likes them
they're less like valentines and more like little notes
im specifically worried about the one i made erica
i tried to make it perfect but im not so sure about it anymore
but it took like two days
so theres no going back now
ugh my point is i hope everyone APPRECIATES that i did something heartfelt for them
especially as that is something i rarely do
not like this class really DESERVES IT
moronic fucking ingrates

--update: 9:00 AM--
current status: frustrated
oh my fucking god
the project WAS TODAY
im fucking doomed
harold hasnt done SHIT on the powerpoint and the only thing we have is a SINGLE slide of information
that I DID
oh my god he just asked who were doing this thing on
were not doing this on some guy
were doing this on LEGALISM
A PHILOSOPHY
were doing this on a PHILOSOPHY
he STILL hasnt done SHIT on the powerpoint and we have fifteen minutes
does he WANT to fail???
im doomed
my history grade is FUCKING DOOMED
and i was doing so well too!!! only one C!!!
my history grade is going to DROP and its ALL HAROLDS FAULT
why couldnt i have been partnered with someone like erica????
shit i would have even taken bo hweemuth and hes rumored to be a terrifying monster and barely even leaves the art room
why HAROLD???
why HIM???
does he even CARE about his grades???
does he care at ALL???
because thats what this is showing me
im going to flunk this assignment and its all because of him
FUCK harold hutchins and FUCK my life

--update: 10:00 AM--
current status: relieved
thank fuck i didnt have to present this dogcrap presentation 
i might have actually snapped if i was forced to
anyways apologies for the rant
harolds not the sharpest tool in the shed clearly and it gets to me sometimes
okay a LOT of the time but you get it

  --[WEEK 3]--
---FEB/20/2024---
   --9:00 AM--
current status: suffering
apologies for the lack of updates last week
i was more focused on schoolwork than usual so i didnt have much time to log
now to the matter at hand
i currently feel horrible
im not sure if its flu season or something but i have a horrible sore throat
and even worse if thats possible im afraid its my time of the month
i havent checked but i am getting cramps and it IS quite hard to stand at the moment
luckily im wearing dark pants as always so if it IS happening and i DO leak i am well prepared
in other more exciting news
close up aka my class trip to washington dc is set to occur on march 3rd
therefore i have 12 days to mentally prepare for it
12 days to prepare for a plane trip
alone
without my parents
wow haha i never really realized how much my parents decided for me on trips
this is getting kinda anxiety inducing
but it is still exciting in my book
i mean despite the fact that i have to sit next to george on the plane there and back
i only really know this because he was complaining about it to harold
the teachers organizing this thing probably put me there to keep them out of trouble
personally id rather sit in a row all by myself but who am i to judge their anti-troublemaking methods???
this is the arrangement (from what i know):
george will sit on my left and gooch will sit on my right
the aisle across from us from left to right occupies other sophie as well as jessica gordon and sophie one
behind them sits erica wang (and her assistant dante) as well as harold hutchins
and the aisle behind me will occupy stanley peet as well as dressy killman and bo hweemuth (if he actually shows up)
but i still dont know for sure
sorry for rambling
especially about the SEATING ARRANGEMENT of all things
this trip means a lot to me and i just dont want anything to go wrong
especially at the hands of THOSE TWO nitwits

--update: 1:00 PM--
current status: a little stressed (again)
i just realized how CLOSE this trip is
12 days
thats literally less than two weeks
if ANYTHING we have ONE FULL WEEK of school left and then we have to go
i cant believe its so close to happening
ive been hearing about this thing for months
now that its almost here im pretty nervous
i think george and harold have come to this realization too
theyre STILL talking about it but quieter and less giddy-sounding
i wonder if we could talk about it
me and them
no thats stupid
what the fuck am i thinking???
hm
although
since me and george are sitting next to each other in the plane
it might be beneficial to talk with them a little bit
plus maybe itll help my anxiety a little
it never hurts to try

--update: 2:00 PM--
current status: better i think???
just talked to george and harold and for once it wasnt awful
they were actually courteous to me for once
odd in my opinion
there WAS one very close call i had with them however.
george mentioned that the school said "the boys have to bunk with the boys."
he mentioned this after i said i had to bunk with erica and dressy at the hotel
it came from a place of pure curiosity
he clearly thought that i got placed there accidentally
but let me tell you I FUCKING PANICKED
i bullshitted the excuse of "maybe there was just limited room" and he took it well enough
but oh my GOD that freaked me out
in other news me george and harold have truced for the weeks up to and during the trip
thank god because i wasnt sure id survive if they were on my case for a week straight

--WILL BE UPDATED ALL MONTH LONG--