Bro...

I always wonder why I cant cry till i feel like ill throw up. That's what I want, to let it all out. I think the reason I don't is because my brain know it hurts worse when I hold it in. Sometimes though, every once in a while, a tear does come out, Not the warm salty ones that comfort you like a blanket but one lonely one that comes out cold and taste like nothing because just like your emotions it doesn't make any sense. Maybe that's how I feel? Cold? Alone? bland? Do I change myself in fear of becoming someone I don't like? How come I cant understand what I made up? Our brains make up the way we feel, so shuldnt we be able to understand it better than anyone else?