Top 10 things I'd like to get

But can't

for various reasons

1. Snakebites

It's a very illogical thing to want in my case, because my teeth are in a questionable state because my dentist did an oopsie woopsie but how else will I attract emo boys and be cool? I feel like snakebites are a sort of chip that sends waves to other cool people and they detect the signal and go "yeah..that's a gay, cool, amazing person right there". Without those it's as if I were a shell of something that would be very cool if it had snakebites

2. Dyed hair

That's, like, obvious. I need jet-black hair to be cool as well. My dirty blond simply isn't appealing neither to me nor to emo guys in my area and it constantly looks greasy (maybe because I shower once a week...)

3. the ABCC11 gene

My excessive sweating linked to poor hygiene which I'm not proud of but I hate myself leave me alone makes me smell no matter the amount of deodorant and cologne I wear. This gene would be perfect for me, as I would not smell which would make me better and significantly more cool

4. A phone that isn't motorola

Nobody warned me that the polish make such shitty smartphones. Never buying that again. Save yourself.

And a phone that doesn't have google everything would be kinda nice too

5. A girlfriend

My only requirement is that she has hands for me to hold or something

6. A boyfriend

I'm not gay but a boyfriend sounds nice, with a nice set of legs so he could, like, step on my ribs and laugh at me that'd be pretty cool

7. Friends

self-explanatory

8. A therapist

Not to self-diagnose but something is definitely wrong

9. My nails done

It sounds cool I wish my fingers didn't look like sausages

10. A will to live

I'm actually not enjoying my misery and the fact that my edgy hormonal teenage phase isn't going away is kinda worrying

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