the loml

I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seriously love him. I wasn't expecting him to be the love of my life, SERIOUSLY. I mean, I wasn't searching for love, or anything like that; I wasn't planning anything romantic, I figured I wanted to focus on myself, but then HE JUST APPEARED AND STOLE MY HEART LIKE THAT??? Like, how does one manage to do that? He didn't message me directly, but one of his friends sent a drawing, a drawing of ME that he drew. I DIDN'T EVEN EXPECT THAT?? I never expected myself to be liked by someone??? in the drawing, he wrote 'i admire everything about you' WHICH MADE ME FELL TO THE GROUND CRYING. 

okay joking about that part but ugh WHAT??????????????????? to be honest, before all of that happened, i didn't even know he was in the school i'm in. it's so evil but IM HONEST BUT now every time i walk in the school I ALWAYS SEE HIM. it's so terrifying but AGHUSHGUSHGIS?? its such a new feeling is this what they call teenage love. anywwwwwway, after that we started chatting and getting to know each other. we aren't dating which was upsetting but i'm glad because i REALLY don't want to date. and that's because of religion of course, me and him both are the type of person to 'no date, marry' kinda person?? i don't want myself to have high expectations, but

i really hope i can meet him again in the future with the best version of ourselves, at night i would imagine  cheesy scenarios of him and me being together and LIVING together in the future and loving each other. yet, i shouldn't hope for such things because you never know anything what'll happen in the future, in the future, he could find another girl that he likes, and i'll also find another guy that i like. 

even so, he'll always be the best part of my life, talking about this always made me feel embarrassed but ummmmm. i really love him and i wouldn't forget about him ever