Blog #9 - Hello Again...?

Wow... so it's been a long while. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why I stopped posting here. 

Sometimes I feel like a different person, probably because my life has changed so much since I last was online here. I mean, almost an entire year passed. 

I'm going to be a senior in high school this August, and I'll be moving to Chicago with my family once I graduated. It's honestly a scary thought. Graduating, not exactly moving. Honestly I don't know a life outside of the structured ways that it's always been. How do you cope with losing that? Starting the rest of your life. Especially with me having been so chronically ill in recent times. I still plan on going to film school, which is exciting, but also extremely scary. 

I rekindled my love for theater again. In November I got to play in a production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee as Leaf Coneybear. I got a CD of the 2005 Broadway cast recording for Christmas. It's my favorite musical of all time and I don't think anything can rival it. I've even made a folder on my laptop dedicated to recordings of scenes and songs from the original cast. They're grainy and I love them.

I got to see my girlfriend that same November too. It was pretty great. I felt so clueless, like I knew absolutely nothing about how to interact with anybody. It's crazy how powerful love can be. To make someone just completely melt into nothingness. I liked going to the water park. I convinced her to go on a waterslide with me which was fun. We sang musical songs in the lazy river, and it probably annoyed everyone. But honestly, I could care less. I like to think we were the only people truly alive in that moment, and that everyone simply gawked over how entirely real we were. It was moments like those where memory alone does not do it justice. We also made out, but I don't have much poetic to say about that. It was my first time and we definitely did it wrong. 

I think that entire paragraph reminded me on how I've been more in touch with my non-logical side. I've been getting back into art and such. My new friend and my girlfriend think I should start writing more, but I'm not sure. I'm quite insecure and sensitive about my artist endeavors. Art takes time and effort. Something I find I've become worse at doing. I mean really, it's so easy to come to logical conclusions, but the abstract requires true thought. It's quite impressive. I tend to be very grounded in reality. I recently replayed Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair (an excellent game series). To me, the trials are so easy to solve, but the creativity needed to create the trials is just plain impressive. I could never be a killer in that game. I'm quite afraid that I'll become to uppity if I indulge too much into the creative side of myself. Perhaps I'm already that way logically?

I'm getting tired of writing and I'm ready to go eat my grilled cheese whilst reading. What should I write about next?