⚝ 006 ﹒02.01.24 ﹒??

writer: blurry / unsure

hey chat . was very tired today so just didnt do much at all . it's still only 8 o'clock but nonetheless i have a feeling im not gonna get much done before i fall asleep for the night . 

just a bad energy day i suppose . 

really don't know what to write for today since i'm basically just trying to make sure i stay awake for a few more hours , but uhmm ... 

recently i've been watching black widow and black panther : wakanda forever a lot more often . i guess right now they're just my favourite movies to watch . i love them a lot , the stories , characters , designs , soundtracks , etc . they were really good movies and i like watching movies i enjoy multiple times i guess . 

i should do movie reviews on them later , i have a lot to say about them and it's not enough to paraphrase here imo . 

my older brother , who's also a lesbian system , was talking to my baby brother who's questioning if he's a lesbian as well and it was a really interesting conversation . i think it would be funny if baby brother also turns out to be lesbian because thats one two THREE brothers in our family who are raging lesbians . younger brother is bi gaybian , younger sisters are also both lesbians , so basically we are all just queer for women in a way . 

but my older brother , nekane , talked about the relationships and dynamics between femme and butches and it was just really interesting to me that despite my presentation over the years i've pretty much always been a femme lesbian . because being femme and/or butch is so much more than a presentation , it's an identity . and despite the fact a few years back i identified as a masc presenting transmasc gay man , i was still very much a femme without even realizing .

nowadays i'm very proud and open about being a feminine femme , and i love knowing that the history of my subculture is so rich and powerful . it's nice to know that i'm apart of something bigger , and that i can help people just by existing sometimes . it reassures me that i have a purpose in this world . 

also i just love butches . dear god . what would the lesbian community be without butches because tbh i'm confident when i say we would not be a community at all . butches are so underappreciated , brushed off , or demonized and it makes me so upset as a femme lesbian because historically butch lesbian have been the one we could turn to when the day was hard and who would protect us against men who thought they could change us . butches are so important to me .

i love rambling about lesbianism im so obnoxious and i dont even care because this is my space to ramble about whatever i want and right now im tired and feeling extremely queer and admirable about butches . i'm so femme4butch guys . 

anyways . still pretty tired so i'm gonna just lay low and rest for a bit . but it was nice to just ramble for a bit . thanks for listening :]