The Uses of a Potato

When I say "potato" what do you think of? French fries? Hash-browns? Thanksgiving? Well, it turns out you can do more with a potato than you can with a smartphone! How you may ask? That's what I am here to teach you! With the help of Google and the brain God has given me, I am going to explain some of the many things you can do with a potato! 

First, you can use a potato to wash your face! Just cut it open, put soap and water onto it, scrub on your face, and rinse! You'll feel like a million bucks after! 

You can also use a potato to massage yourself and others! Why use an expensive ball or a knuckle when you can use a strong and sturdy potato? You have mashed potatoes if you crush the potato while leaning onto it! Just don't tell your family if you feed it to them! 

While you can use a potato on yourself, you can also use it on others. It turns out you can actually shine your shoes with a potato! Sound dumb? Well, take my shoes for example. After using a potato to shine them, they look better! 

If you have anything that is starting to rust, you can stick it in a potato and it may start to fade! You already know I will be using this trick on my knives. 

You ever tried to change a light bulb and accidentally broke the bulb in the process. You can cut a thick piece of potato and stick it onto the broken end of the bulb to unscrew! 

Let's say you want to put dye on your food, or something stains your hand. Well, you can remove the stains with a potato! Just rub the potato on your skin, then you're good! 

Finally, you can ask a potato who you should vote for in the upcoming election. The potato won't say anything, and that is because no matter what happens things are just going to go downhill from here (2 Tim. 3:13 "But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived"). 

These are some things you can use a potato for. I hope this finds you in good health. Please comment on more uses a potato may have. Maybe I will make an animatic out of this someday!