just a girl syndrome

probably one of the most embarrassing things that happened to me at school was last year when my history teacher was buying students books of their choice from amazon for reading month and im into 50s-00s true crime, so i found this serial killer encyclopedia and selected that as the book i wanted to get so a few days later my history teacher comes to my homeroom with the book and sets it on my desk and i was so overwhelmed with how huge the book was and everyone started at me after they read the title, "the encyclopedia of serial killers" and im pretty sure nobody wanted to talk to me after that and some joked that i would kill them and i told them i wouldnt but i almost pissed my pants when i got those stares and i just wanted to run away... and i had to have it the whole day and was so embarassed to take it to school the next day until my friend asked to read it and took notes in one of the pages and i was shocked how she didnt feel weird having a book like that although i watch or read other medias on the subject i was so ashamed of that book?? im sorry my interests are kinda weird but i dont want people to see me differently because of it im just a girl!!!

i only attempted to read the book once and then stopped