how i became charming delightful and likeable

i dream very late. i commit suicide at 65%. my life is very cheap, it's only 20% of life for me. my life has 20% of life. it lacks arms. strings, and a few buttons. 5% is devoted to a state of semi-lucid stupor accompanied by anemic cackling. this 5% is called DADA. so life is cheap. death is a bit more expensive. but life is charming and death is equally charming. 

a few days ago i was at a meeting of herded cattle. there were a lot of cattle there. everyone was charming. a white, brown spotted cow, was giving a lecture on the art of becoming charming. he was charming at that. everyone is charming. and witty. it's delightful, isn't it? everyone is delightful, at that. 9 degrees below zero. it's charming, isn't it? no, it isn't charming. i'm not up to it. i'm not even in the directory. but even so, i'm charming.

ambassadors, poets, counts, princes, musicians, journalists, actors, writers, diplomats, directors, dressmakers, princesses, and dancers are charming.

you're all charming, very subtle, witty, and delightful. the white, brown spotted cow says to you: he's quite willing to do something else, but he prefers to remain an idiot, a practical joker, and a hoaxer. be sincere for a moment: what i've just said to you - is it charming or idiotic?