Sigh(maybe a vent

Yeah, get it, I clarified I hate vents, venting, and everything of the sort but avoiding to writing or at least talking about it has only got me closer to boiling over, and I can literally feel it, the less I talk about what bothers me the more I want to rip out my hair. for example, I hate going to school, and I have avoided doing anything about it and now, everyday at school, at least once, I either

1. Ask my friends how many more ‘make it to Fridays’ will they be able to stand
2. Complain about being at school
3. Hate my life every second I’m there, and every moment I’m not, because it just delays my impending doom of returning

I hate everything about my school, they only care about our money, literally classes end at 3:30, and they kick us off campus at 4, while knowing damn well not every student has a consistent ride. ME, they know me and my sisters can’t come and go to school at we please but they still unapologetically punish everyone; especially us for it, pestering us to call our aunt after school and giving ME a detention for attendance. And it’s not like I’m skipping class a ton either, ITS JUST FOR TARDIES IN THE MORNING. Now you might be wondering how does that relate to them not giving a shit about us? It does because they literally said they don’t, not a “we are your teachers not your friends” not a “I don’t care that you don’t have a ride, call and Uber” no. THEY SAID, AND I QUOTE: “whatever happens to them after we kick them off, that's their problem, they aren’t our responsibility anymore” oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that my school is located where a bunch of kidnappings happen, HMMM, ANYONE HAVE A HUNCH WHY???? MAYBE ITS BECAUSE A TON OF KIDS ARE WAITING FOR THEIR PARENTS ON THE SIDES OF ROADS, GAS STATIONS, PARKING LOTS AND RESTAURANTS????? OR MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THEY GIVE SO LITTLE A SHIT ABOUT US THAT SOME OF US WAIT TILL THE SUN GOES DOWN TO HOPE TO HAVE A RIDE HOME JUST TO CALL AN UBER… OR MAYBE BECAUSE SOME KIDS WOULD OREFER WALKING A MILE, PAST HIGHWAYS, JUST TO GET THE FUCK HOMEEE???????

Cough cough anyway, what I decided to write about to begin with;

I fucking hate this life I’ve got, when intus good it’s good, but then I just go back to being miserable, here is why:

1. We live in a shitty apartment that could care less about our living conditions, and like our school, they just want our money
2. We have no car and have to actually PAY our aunt for her to CONSIDER taking us
3. We are scraping by every time the bills come around, and with my moms job not paying her her dues, we are constantly late on rent
4. Speaking of which, we can no longer afford to:

• Go to school
• Pay rent

AND

• feed ourselves

So it’s either, I disobey my mom and get a job, getting in trouble with her and falling even more behind on my classes because now I not only have to wait for our aunt to take us to and fro, now I have some pestering boss that will make me miss school to go to work, or, I can kill myself, and save my mom the money it takes to feed, clothe, and house just one daughter, sadly, of course, that option comes with far more benefits, excluding life insurance seeing as they’re suicide proof:

• Don’t have to pay for anything that was mine
• Safe on health checkups every year
• Little sister gets her own room as she always wanted
• Cook for less, eat for less = pay for less
• Can sell all my things (iPad = ~$300, giant teddy bear =~$600 and other minor expenses)
• Save when Christmas time comes around
• Me not whining about back pain all the time
• And me not being able to hog all the snacks(you gotta gimme credit, theyre REALLY good)

I’m not sad anymore so I’m not asking for comfort, but advice, what option would YOU take, and don’t give me that corny shit, y’all don’t even know me, just tell me the truth