27 | hello 2024

happy new years guys. I haven’t been able to really post because I had an internship at a hospital over the winter. Interning full time, doing school work and my parttime job does crazy things to tha human brain!!

for the first time ever, i actually ended up liking where I was placed for internship. I was really dreading it for myself. I chose PACU nursing, so basically I’m helping people get ready for surgery and recover from anesthesia. It’s like waking people up from a nap (except advanced). If it wasn’t so advanced from my current skill level I’d do it right out of college. I hate inpatient floor nursing so much I just couldn’t bring myself to sign up to intern in it.

when I left, everyone said they would miss me, I was a great help and that I would be a good nurse one day. I couldn’t believe it because I honestly thought I was just an extra burden to them. I’m not used to recognizing the influence I have on other people. I cried sm on tha way home.

in other news, the stress and anxiety really got to me over the past months so I started turning to smoking/edibles. I don’t really like smoking though, and it’s dumb but I’m actually too scared to use a lighter on my own 😭😭.

I feel guilty right now because I feel like I pulled other people in with my poor decisions. I asked some friends if they were interested and they just went along with me! If they said no I wouldn’t ever push ever, but I still feel at fault for suggesting it. Now it’s me and others who don’t really know what we’re doing quite yet.

I haven’t really used enough to know if it works. Anyways I won’t be on it for much longer anywyas since I’ll need to start applying to jobs when I graduate soon. So it won’t matter.