bleh

typing started : 11:46 pm

hellO!!!!

cant go over the main problem in my life as its a bit against tos, all i can say is that im having really bad withdrawals rn, keep hallucinating and only stopped throwing up a few days ago :C

ive tried getting clean from this certain thing before but that just ended up in the same bottomless pit but now i really have no options as i literally can not get anything

doing substances stops being fun at a certain point so i advise you all get out while you still can

not much else has been going on

ive always had a problem with hallucinations, not diagnosed with anything, but theyre getting worse!!!

i dont think about my worthiness anymore, yes, existence is without purpose initially but you have to give everything a purpose, i still havent found out how but i cant grab it from thin air, can i?

lately ive been looking at my friends snap stories and if theres a party on i just go there and nobody questions anything, free drinks and food, even though i know like 1 person there barely, have not got the coronavirus from it yet

about the internet, i might start making videos on some platform soon but im not very proud of my voice, i could probably do without? but then it would be boring

romance films are more unrealistic than sci-fi, they get everyones hopes up, i have never known everyone whos experienced love like a film

computers are too good for their own good. scared of them becoming alive? some already are. fix that.

i do enjoy it when i buy a cd and theres a bit of disc rot, just a tiny bit, i think it sounds better like that, would prefer the perfectly fine version but why not have something different?

i have been having strange feelings towards my roommate lately

i could be gay ? 

tbh i havent called anyone on my mobile phone for a few months now, been using the piss filled payphones and i hope its cheaper i dont really know

drinking limeade mixed with vod rn mmm

i have an internet friend whos up in the big smoke and he can get a tv signal with the wire unplugged from the main box which i think is really neat

next week my not so nice ex is coming to stay with her bf, she did hurt me a lot so im going to try avoid being alone with her for too long

found out that my television is from 2003 btw, always thought it was from 2014 or something

i got it from a friend in 2015 and expected it to be super new as it was in good condition, i do miss him, hes gone now

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