-Suffocating-
My feelings for him are the definition of suffocating, sinking me into this sticky feeling that suffocates me, leaving me breathless.
My insides fill with a tingle when I'm close to him.
The well-known butterflies
That rise up to my throat in search of a way out, wanting to be expressed and fly to him, but they stay in my throat, choking me, suffocating me. It's incredibly painful, incredibly disgusting.
I'd probably feel better if all these feelings just came out like water. Or rather molasses. That's how I feel anyway. Sticky, heavy, disgusting, I should say something.
But I do not do it.
But I will not.
I'm taking advantage of my best friend and colleague label and wondering what exactly is wrong with me. Because it's really disgusting, and not just because I feel like it is. That is the third and final nail in the coffin. It's just... wrong. Even illegal. I'm seventeen years old. He is twenty-three years old. If I went after him, I could land Sonic in jail, not to mention the disapproving looks I can imagine in our friends' eyes.
Angry eyes.
Disapproving eyes.
Disgusted eyes.
And I can't say anything.
And I won't say anything.
And I will continue to drown in this disgusting molasses.
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