what's wrong with me?

I think I've been empty for so long, drowning in my mind, and struggling not to self-destruct, I want to be enough for everyone, pretty enough and a good person, I want my life to move forward, do new things, but I still don't see the point of anything I'm going to die one day, why would I have to try so hard, but sometimes I think, maybe I should, since life is an opportunity to feel. This is what I'm talking about, I'm in a constant fight with my mind, I want peace, silence.