Deep thoughts lol

So today was my cousin's birthday, she turned 18 today, and i can't stop thinking about how time passes this fast cause I remember when we were like 8 (her) and 7 (my sister) and 5 (me) and we were playing with barbies and stuff without actually worrying about anything, and today we spent like half an hour talking about when we were kids and man it feels so far away. 

I realized im actually scared of growing up, cause the next one turning 18 is my sister the nex year, and then its me in 2027, and i know thats in 3 years but just 3 years ago it was 2021 and it all hapened so fast.

In 1 week is my best friend's birthday she is turning 15 (and so am i in april) and its so weird cause we met when we were 13 and we've been growing up together in this 2 years. And we definitely arent the same people we were back then.

Idk like i know this is something normal, time is supossed to hapend but as i grow up i can't stop feeling weirder about it.

I literally refuse to think that one day i'll be an adult and i'll have to ACTUALLY work and actually get married and have kids. Cause i do want it but it doesnt feel like something thats actually real, like i how used to think about being a teenager when i was a kid, i knew i had to be a teenager one day but it felt really far away, it used to feel so far away that it actually sounded like fiction in my head, and as im getting older the fear of actually being an adult just starts to grow more and more in me like, how???? What do you mean im actually turning 18 one day, and that i'm actually going to college one day, and that im eventualy graduating from that one day, and that i'll have to actually work one day? Like wtf it sounds like fiction in my head.

Anyway just silly thoughts in my head rn :3 its not even 2024 to me im still in october from last year lmao