Journal Entry #93: 01/27/24 - Rainy Day Frustrations

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I'm not feeling my best today, and that's alright.

I didn't do much last Sunday other than call my sister and the rest of my family. On Monday, I tried my best to knock out some work so I wouldn't have to deal with it later. On Tuesday I went to a company information session and then went to an org meeting. The org has a week dedicated to it coming up next month and the president proposed that at the end of the week, leadership would go on a bar crawl. One member asked if everyone was nineteen and I said, "I'll be nineteen by then". Even though that's true, I was alluding to a joke. I probably won't go to the bar crawl since I think it's a little weird to show up at a bar and not drink. Wednesday I did some more work and anxiously awaited my packages which did not arrive when expected. 

During my Cal II lecture, my professor went over how to find the area of an ellipse using integral calculus. He said it could "impress your date". I will say I found it pretty cool, but considering the guys I know and have liked, I'm not sure if they'd agree. One guy I know would probably be the one to show me. If I showed this other guy I knew, he probably wouldn't be impressed. Another guy I know has already taken Cal II, so it would just seem like I'm lecturing him again.

Thursday wasn't much either, though my clothes did arrive. Also, I forgot to say but my star earrings arrived on Wednesday. Thursday night I had a "fashion show", which was kind of fun. I even put together an outfit. I should've taken a picture, but I'll describe it. It consists of a cream graphic baby tee, a black belt with a silver star buckle, a jean miniskirt, cream legwarmers, my black Chucks, and my portable keyboard (which kind of works like an accessory?). It's a cool-looking outfit, although it makes me look like some extra for a 2000s teen garage band movie. Unfortunately, I won't be able to wear the skirt until the weather gets warmer unless I want to wear tights underneath.

 On Friday my bio professor demonstrated how Dinoflagellates move, which was kind of silly since he spun around a lot. After eating dinner, I decided to chill out at this fountain that's on campus. I only stayed for a little bit since it was dark out. Considering it's the engineering waterfall, it's super relaxing. I went back to my dorm after that and chilled in the dark, watched an episode of Serial Experiments Lain, and let my fan blow my hair around. Both the fan and the fountain helped me get in touch with my senses again; I've been feeling like a brain in a vat lately...

Last night I didn't sleep well. My body was warm and sticky, and I couldn't stop thinking about computers. Today it has been raining nonstop since 9am. I went to get groceries at around 10. After I finished shopping, it started raining hard, resulting in all of my groceries getting wet. I've spent the last two hours drying off. I also made some tea to hopefully help with my sleeping problem tonight. It's sitting in my minifridge so that I can drink it cold. 

I just feel like I've been going through the motions, I need something new to keep me going. I think I said something along those lines in my post on Monday. Later today I'll be going with a friend to an event dedicated to India's Independence Day, so hopefully that will improve my mood despite the bad weather.

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