Trade my body?

I just got back from grabbing my morning latte before I start working. Hopefully this shift goes by smoothly *crosses fingers*. Upon waking up this morning I may or may not have come to the realization that as much as I love the idea of a serious relationship, I may just actually want another "steady" piece of trade LOL. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not glorifying trade in anyway and there are too many toxic ones out there, but many of the men I've dealt with have been either trade or DL. IDK, I just hate the idea of being vulnerable and having someone crushing me that way. I live for the no strings, but we messing with each other type of situation, and being able to do my gay shit on my own. I mean, I might have some unpacking to do with this way of thinking, but this is kind of how I've been feeling lately. We'll see if things change.