Embarrassing moment 💔

  Something really embarrassing happened to me during social studies today and I figured I'd write about it to make me feel better. Anyways, for context I have a class full of extrovert kids who all know each other and I have a diagnosed and accommodated disorder revolving around learning + social aspects of my life.

  But onto what happened, we were doing a presentation on some sort of education moment in history or something and we could choose if we could nominate one person from our group to go up and present or all of us go up and present. Um.. my entire group stands up except for me bc I don't know these guys well and I didn't want to awkwardly stand up and follow them. The people in my group are like really close-knitted with each other so whenever they needed my attention during the making of the project they would just stare at me awkwardly until I noticed, despite having my name on multiple google slides 💀. So I can already tell they don't really respect me much, I mean I am a loud person in that class bc I have two of my only friends in there but that's because I'm Hard of Hearing 💔. Anyways, they all stand up and awkwardly shuffle to the board except for me because I didn't wanna feel like a follower, and they start reading their slides. Everything is fine except for when they get to my slide, but I'm already sitting down and just taking extra notes. So I make a joke to one of them and I say, "Would you believe me if I told you I was taking notes?" and I have a smile on my face, indicating that I was joking. But they all look at me like I was fucking weird and one of the girls goes "um... but isn't this your slide..?" UM. It's like they've never heard of a joke before... and these are the types of girls to loudly sip their Stanleys (at least in my point of view but we all have to admit that we are all a little annoying...).

  I don't really say anything back because I'm fucking stunned, like- what do you mean no one laughed at my joke? Couldn't yall just give me a pity laugh?? 💔💔

  One of the boys in my group was like "Can you see the board from there?" and I was like "yeah..." and I gave a comical sigh and I realize some people are laughing which either tells me three things. 1. They are laughing at me. 2. They are laughing to give me pity and closure. 3. They aren't even paying attention (the best of all three outcomes). So I start reading the board from my chair, but I'm stuttering really badly because my face is red from pure embarrassment and the girls keep looking at me weirdly. I realize the one boy in my group was prob cracked out of his mind because he was just spaced out the entire time 💀. Anyways, because I have social anxiety (as many others do) my brain goes smooth and I lose my train of thought and I'm starting to panic because I don't know what else to say even though I ended my sentence with "And". So I stutter and I end up going silent for a few seconds and everyone is either not paying attention or awkwardly waiting for me to say something (because everyone was taking notes) and I end up ending my sentence with something I completely pulled out of my ass that probably wasn't true about the topic. And while all this was happening, my friend was awkwardly staring at me and my other friend was absent.

  I just wanna also mention that these are the type of people to claim they have social anxiety (which I don't doubt for some situations) and then know every single person in the class while presenting. I know it won't matter in like 15 years when I'm a successful designer and they will have like 8 STDS but I still feel a little hurt and embarrassed by it.