⚝ 001 ﹒01.25.24 ﹒🪷

writer: 🪷 azalea ! 

well . eye've decided to do daily blog posts ! or at least try to , since eye'm trying to manage journaling irl and " journaling " here . journaling in quotes because eye may love you guys but you don't need to know what meye irl journal knows , and that's just meye business pfft . 

uhm ... well quick guide i suppose ! 

when referring to the collective of us all in this body , i will use eye / meye / meyen / meyeself first person pronouns !

when referring to just myself, the alter, i will use i / me / my / mine / myself first person pronouns !

eye don't like using we / us or any other variants of plural pronouns like them for personal reasons , and neopronouns have always been a key factor in meye personal identity , so of course eye sought to use them here as well ! 

and before you ask , who honestly cares if eye use them to be quirky and cool . it's literally not your business , not your life , not your system ! thank you ! 

anyways ! 

it's a thursday afternoon , cloudy and cold outside . there was snow on the ground for weeks , but the rain storm last night has melted all of it ! hopefully the snow will start to ease up in the coming few weeks , as eye would actually like to go outside :(

eye miss sitting out in the warm summer rain . favourite activity 10 / 10 worth the sick eye get from it . 

eye've been struggling with sleep energy as of recent , as meye sleep schedule has been All Over The Place despite trying to get it in order </3 eye struggle with fibromyalgia and narcolepsy as well , so that makes meye already sporadic sleeping habits even more random . OUGH !! it's beyound frustrating , especially because eye normally have many things eye want to do throughout the day , but have to spend time recharging , napping , or just sleeping because meye energy is too low for anything strenuous . 

you'd think after two years of trying different medications that eye would have found a medication that helps more than hurts this situation . but nope ! eye am still searching , so right now eye basically just have to cope :/ 

in saying that , eye slept until about ... 1 pm today . which was ... understandable for once , due to the fact that eye couldn't sleep most of the night until about 5 in the morning . still frustrating though . 

thankfully , as of right now , eye am unemployed and do not need to worry about paying rent or anything since eye still live at home with meye parents , but eye definitely would like to be able to get meye sleep situation under control so eye can secure a proper job , and move out . because living at home , while it has it's perks , is not heaven when you have abusive parents 😭

enough about that though ! 

in the past few days , i've been fronting and influencing front , and because of that eye've been making a bunch of carrds ! eye love to make carrds collectively , but it's a specific interest of mine to make really complex carrds with all sorts of graphics and element cheats teehee - though i don't use embeds for the most part ! i love html and css as well , it's interesting and a wonderful set of tools for customization . but i also like testing the limits of the preset elements in carrd to try and make top quality carrds ! 

i've been considering opening carrd commissions because of it ...  it would be nice to get money for something eye enjoy ! 

i'll have to make some different visuals to show off my skills , and then maybe i'll promote it here in the future ! 

in the time i've been fronting , i've completed about ... six carrds ? and i've been fronting for ... 3 days ! damn . i just realized that i've been doing two carrds per day non stop . i may need to take a break LOL . 

sometimes its very easy to take advantage of meye ADHD's hyperfocus , but in doing that i often fail to remember that doing so makes eye forget about other Very Necessary Things like eating , drinking water , and sleeping pffft . the duality of man . 

however i've also been watching my source's movies in my free time ! i'm an introject of an oc eye've created , but eye created that oc for meye oldest special interest , transformers ! eye am Extremely autistic about transformers Please ask eye about it . 

but anyways ! i was watching the movies with my girlfriend , and just got the giggles thinking about the fact that my girlfriend is very much an introject of optimus prime , and very much does not understand that she does not need to act completely like her source . i love her regardless of course , but it's silly to watch movies with her and watch her face scrunch up and her comment like " i would NOT do that " . 

love my girlfriend guys you should ask me about my girlfriend she's the love of my life godbless . 

uhm !! 

aside from that , the body's mom is making some kind of food right now and sitting up here in meye room is like torture because it's right above the kitchen so i can smell whatever she's making and good it smells good . i probably will have to wait until dinner to eat it though </3 

but i think that's all i have to write for today ! 

ciao !