Are you bored yet?

I can feel myself doing it again. Or actually, am I really doing it again, or is this me pushing him away because I tend to avoid getting close to people?

Let me give you guys some context. I like this guy. Shocker, I know, right? But wait, I actually do like him. This is not one of those "I get interested, and then I lose interest within like two weeks" type of things as usual. Or at least, I hope not. Well, no, because it's been more than two weeks by far.

Here's the kicker, this is some forbidden stuff. It feels wrong to like him.

Why, you might be wondering? Well, there are certain factors I can't fully disclose just yet. 
(add me to read my friends-only posts and get tea in detail)

The thing is, for the first time, I am confused. Well, maybe not for the FIRST time, but you guys get what I mean. In essence, I am confused, and here's the thing about me: sure, the cat and mouse game is kind of fun, but after a while, I get bored of repetitive stuff.

I don't want to do this again. I don't want to be into someone and lose interest, but I just... I don't really play games. I'm more of a direct kind of person, and I'm getting bored.

See, with me, you gotta keep things interesting.

By now, I would have made a move, but I don't want to be the one to make the first move, not again. I'm so tired of always being in control. I just wanna live my romcom moment, you know what I'm talking about? That moment when time slows down, and I don't know, maybe they kiss you by surprise? Is that too much to ask for? I mean, come on, dude, it's pretty obvious I'm into you.

Yes, I know there are external factors that affect this, and thus you can't make a move, and I can't make a move, but I'm getting bored. I'm afraid that this boredom and my avoidant attachment style will make me leave.

Are you bored yet?