blog of yap part 1

let's yap!

i am physically and mentally not ok! but first
as i'm writing this i gen feel like unaliving myself bc my glasses WON'T CLEAN SOMEONE IS LIKE MAGICALLY REDIRTIFYING IT ALL OVER again and i'm not happy w that. my eyes r burning everything looks j a teeny bit smaller whenever i take this shiz off i'm literally about to go find somebody to clean it 4 me bc idk what i'm doing wrong but this is starting 2 stress me out. anyway
i've been home from school for a week right. thought i was fine when i went back last week for the last 2 days, then tried going monday as well.. I CAN'T STOP COUGHING & SNIFFLING n i might have a lung infection like pneumonia or whatever that wild azz shiz is called like . now i have 2 b home for another week i am MISSING TOO MUCH and if it don't get better i have 2 stay home next week too. and if i don't heal by then i will miss my birthday by being ill. I. I J CANT. and i'm mentally unstable anyway my mental health is absolute balls i feel so alone all my friend groups are dead there's only been drama n NOT the type of drama i like 2 see. if i wanna see drama & like it i want it 2 have the perfect balance of me being involved and me not being involved and j watching it go down and being a part of both sides cuz that's j what i do! sometimes i gen feel like crying but i'm too busy helping my own friends & family out to care about myself hahahahaha people pleaser ahahaha why can't i do anything right haha die
CAN I STOP COUGHING FUCK OFF INSTAGRAM I DON'T CARE ABOUT UR NOTIFICATIONS RN PLEASE and bro the mail icon on my laptop keeps popping up and disturbing my screen to let me know i should open it bc i have 1.200 emails for some reason PISS OFF U LOGGED ME OUT AND FORCED ME TO USE YAHOO I DON'T CARE ABOUT U ANYMORE I'M DITCHING YOU!!
so like clearly i'm not feeling it rn! never felt it! never will! 
like i'm j physically & mentally unwell and idk what to do bc the point has gotten so low i'm unable to take care of myself properly i have 2 take pills for my physical not so wellbeing and i had to take a mint pill shiz was disgusting DIE THERES A PIMPLE OR SOMETHING ON MY NOSE ok anyway sorry um!
i have been rotting in bed all day. this is not what i wanted when i said i wanted a break from school. especially not when i'm FORCED TO ROT IN BED ALL DAY and if i do something fun i'll physically j collapse and die
that's an overexaggeration but every medication i take is making me TIRED ASS ELL like i'm out here sleeping at 6pm now instead of staying up till 3 am and taking MASSIVE "power" naps in the middle of the day & i can't experience the light of day and the sun before shiz is all dark and i have a feeling some scary creature is gonna emerge from the dark parts of my house and find me bc my room is right next 2 a hallway and i can see one big straight dark part of my house and it's genuinely like a spawnpoint for imaginary monsters this is not funny i got paranoia and couldn't sleep for days straight bc of the shiz i've been seeing on the internet lately Y'ALLL DON'T PLAYYYYY AND IT'S NAWT EVEN FUNNY LIKE

i also really need to pee often again

i thought this stopped a month ago whereas before that my most used phrase was "i need to pee" for like 3 months straight and before that it was "that's gay" and now it's "ou.." even though that's a word but it's j making progressively less sense bye but now i feel like i'm gen gunna have to start using it again

it is currently 8 pm (actually 8:23 pm but no one cares about the extra minutes until it's at least half past or the next hour)

idk how to feel. but i hope you liked reading how balls my rotting-in-bed-and-taking-massive-pisses-and-naps day was and my amazing yap sesh so you can feel my almost exact thoughts as to how i feel about it RIGHT NOW!!! anyway how was your day!

how about we all start to live laugh love yapping 2getha guys! #iloveyapping #yapsesh #imactuallydying