first blog !

omggg i totally forgot abt this website after i made my account. i guess it was too much effort and my brain like, burnt the memories of it out X3 

anyway, haii :3 here bc i rlly rlly hate social media and this is the only one i can stand bc it's like, wayyy less tik tok rotted. i just wanna start keeping a blog or something so i can talk abt myself and not feel bad abt it 0_0 

introduction stuffs bc i didn't do that in the first place ... i'm Mercy ! i'm 18 right now. i know it says in my thing that i like to draw and knit, but really those are just things i can do lol i don't think i rlly have any hobbies. i rlly like talking to ppl so if u wanna be friends i am sooo totally down !!!

right now what's on my mind is this guyyy... i'll probably talk about him here a lot lol X3 i won't get into too much detail probably, but to put it shortly, i'm totally obsessed with him and i have been since we were 14. we used to talk but it got too much for him so he cut me off :< but i always end up thinking of him anyway, sooo annoying. 

it's worse because i end up putting more time into him than i do into myself, and he's not even here! every time i get sad, i think of him which is sooo unhealthy because i end up ignoring the things that made me sad in the first place and distracting myself. associating a person with an emotion is so annoying. 

but for MYSELF, i'm recently unemployed bc my work got bought out. i'm gonna work at the new place bc i need a job and the job market is like, terrible... i've put out at least 300 applications within the past few months and have only heard back from the super automated companies, which i didn't even get hired at. i also have an interview next week, if i get the job then i'm just gonna keep both. 

even though i still live with my mom, i have to pay rent and bills :< i don't mind too much cuz i'm helping my mom, but it's rlly hard to save money bc of it. i figure if i have two jobs, i can put ALL the money from one of them towards bills, and the money from the other one for saving and spending. i'll probably end up using both for bills tho </3