burn a picture FINAL update

hey!! guess what!!!! i FINALLY finished this fic this week ^_^ (smile emoticon). so if u were annoyed by my ramblings, its a lucky day for u bc u wont be hearing abt it ever again GFHJDFHGFJ 

the fic is six chapters long, and since i didnt wanna make separate updates for each one, i decided to cram 4, 5 and 6 in. these chapters have some of my fav scenes in it, so im excited to talk abt it 

i cant BELIEVE i didnt put a header in last time. anyway here we goooooo

logline for chapter 4: Aoi is forced to be the middleman for a couple who can't properly communicate. This goes as well as you would expect.

logline for chapter 5: Akane's past comes back to haunt her. 

logline for chapter 6: She lives as herself. Not as June or Zero, but as Akane. 

if ur a writer reading this, i highly recommend scripting ur dialogue/actions before writing. it honestly saved my life, idk how i didnt do this before (short answer: im stubborn). its also low energy so if u dont feel like writing that day, u can just map out the dialogue. i esp have a lot of dialogue/line ideas in my head so this personally works for me

anyway!! onto chapter 4. this one was hard.. akane's a very secretive person so im always unsure how to go abt scenes where someones asking her to bear her knowledge. bear? bare? whatever. fun fact but aoi was the first pov character ive written, specifically as a prompt for 999 week. u can read that here if u want! he's my second fav after akane, so it was cool to write in his perspective again

chapter 5 is a doozy. its one of the longer chapters of the fic, and theres a lot of scenes i feel proud of!! specifically scenes where akane and junpei take a moment to notice their (physical, emotional) distance. i feel like i did a good job w the buildup personally. so when junpei finally bites back, finally spills his secrets, its impactful in a way. for both of them. akane finds out who was responsible for her father's conviction, and it causes her to reach her lowest point in the fic. she also finally shows junpei akane, and Not june. she visits mira in prison with assistance from eric and tells her off while gaining information in the process. this is another thing i had to foreshadow, which i think i did okay with?? idk i dont think ive ever foreshadowed smth before considering i dont write mystery aspects much.

for the most part, the fic is written in third person present tense. but after a while, i felt it would be thematically satisfying to change it to first person present tense. it shows that she's reclaiming her own narrative, as yk, she Is the narrative in 999. idk i think its cool 

when she gets home, junpei is there to tell her off now, which causes them to break off the engagement. their final location of the night is junpei's agency where he works, so he can interrogate her abt things re: the nonary game that he doesnt know abt.

ik a Lot of ppl, including me, like junepei (the ship between akane and junpei if u dont know). and while i do enjoy the boy and the ring fragment, i cant help but feel that their marriage would easily fall apart under close scrutiny. junpei likes the idea of akane, not who she actually is. and akane has hurt junpei a lot since the second nonary game. i cant imagine that taking a toll on both of them. a lot of ppl mainly focus on how it affects junpei, but i wanted to focus on how it affects akane as well. she plays roles that cater to how ppl perceive her. but after a while, doesnt that get tiring? dont u just want to be seen as urself, even if it isnt so delicate and palatable? he mourns who she was, but akane's still here!! she's always been here!!!! yk??? i also see akane as aro so im projecting my experiences a Lot here. if u dont agree w that interpretation, thats fine ^^ just dont be mean yk? 

i crammed a few scenes between akane and aoi, which is my fav dynamic in the series. i wanted to show how much they care abt each other, even if akane keeps her secrets a lot. she realizes this, but she isnt ready to share which. tbh understandable. u rlly expect her to do a complete 180 considering how traumatized she is? 

my intention w the ending is that recovery isn't linear, that it's possible to be traumatized and have a healthy support system. akane isn't perfect, and most likely never will be. but she can learn to accept uncertainty in her life even if she hasn't now. now she has hope, which is in line with the themes of zero escape. she doesn't immediately change, but she's able to acknowledge what she's done wrong and is able to reflect on alternative routes that would reduce harm, despite not feeling guilty and insisting the nonary game was necessary to her survival. both can be true at the same time. junpei was hurt by akane’s actions, but that's all she could have done so she can stay alive. junpei also has hurt akane, and is battling his own demons. the fic takes place in winter for the most part, but i set the last chapter in the summer as it takes place a few months after chapter 5 + parts of chapter 6. i feel like it conveys the fact that things change, just like the seasons. akane's relationship w junpei has changed, and while theyre more estranged than ever, theres still light. with the help of her friends, she can learn to navigate this situation. idk i wanted it to be hopeful by the end and also mirror the beginning of the fic. in the beginning, its winter and akane is stuck in her own thoughts with a ring on her finger. despite the fact that her friends are around. by the end, she's talking and having fun with her support network, no longer bound by how ppl percieve her, and surrounded by hope. its a lot more bittersweet than im describing but i emphasize the sweet aspect here. 

now, some excerpts! (pt: excerpts)

 “Who are you?” Mira’s voice startles me. This is the first time I’ve heard it since Dcom, since I found out she ruined the potential of a perfect life. 

The words confound me. I resist the urge to laugh. Who am I? That's a difficult question. I haven't figured out who I am since my innocence was taken away. But I have a name. That's enough. (chapter 5)

Junpei scowls. “You’re rather chipper for someone who may get apprehended. I’d say you watch your words.” 

“Ooh, so serious!” 

He groans. "Moving on..." (chapter 5)

“So,” Junpei interrupts, “Akane, June, Zero. Whoever you are.”

“I am none of them and all of them simultaneously. You could say I’m two halves of a whole.” (chapter 5)

“Hey, mom and dad,” Aoi steps forward. “Sorry if I was too much trouble as a kid.”

“You too, Aoi!?”

“Kidding,” He says with a laugh. “We miss you and would probably be doin’ better if you were still alive. I promise I raised Akane well. Didn't take her to the foster care system. Who knows what they would have done?”

He looks up at the sky, finding more to say. “If there is a Heaven, I’m sure you're lookin’ down proud at who we've become. Especially Akane here. She's come into her own since you saw her last.”

“Aoi…” I can't help but say. (chapter 6)

thats all for now!! if u read this far, ty so much for going on this journey with me. or at least it felt that way to me HFDJFGHF it was a lot writing this, and i hope to see u once its published (if i even publish it to ao3 lol)