Repetition

I feel like i’m in the present and past and future all at once. Yet I still feel like i’m looking in the past the most, I want to let go and let live. But I think and think and think and wonder why things happened the way they did. I wonder why the sabotage, the hurting, the running, the crying keeps happening. I sit and wonder why, why, why can’t things go my way for once in my life. I cry begging and pleading and apologizing for things I cannot control. I wonder and wonder and think and think and cry and cry and beg and plead and apologize over and over again. For once I want someone to think, wonder, cry and beg and plead over me. I’m tried of writing and never being written. I’m tired and singing and never being sung. When will it be about me? Why can’t I just think about me? What is so special about you that I can’t think about me?