Odd feelings

Ive been seeing many angel numbers recently. 

Most namely, 111, and 555. A rabbit crossed my path. The odd encounter. The shift in the air, an odd feeling in the back of your mind that all is familiar is becoming new. 

All things change. That is the nature of life- cycles, evolution. 

Yet it seems, it is something that harrows me.

 Perhaps out of a need for control. Theres a fear in change. That loss of familiarity. One must remember the memory of what once was, always will be with you. Even in scattered parts, in the archival, in an object you catch a glance of, of a moment that is so vaguely familiar. Sometimes we dont even like what is, what was, yet we cling to it until there is nothing but tattered shreds to run your fingers through, or even less, a ghost of it. Such an odd thing. 

Ive been trying to relinquish control as of late. Ive been trying to find peace within myself, my hobbies, a quiet happiness regardless of others.

As for posting-

Ive had fear lately of being seen. I run from place to place. Seeking smaller and smaller refuge. I think I fear the judgement. The eyes that know me, the comparison, the compilation and assumption that this must be what I am. Perhaps I want to know im doing something right. I think i have a fear what i am is inherently something undesired. I want to know what to do. I’m so unsure of it, my outside existence becomes nothing. The safest thing to be, is most easily nothing.

As it is

May the soft swirls of time turn tides to where they should be.