something i want to say

What I love about Twitch is I just get to be myself, I do get be myself. I get to be a very very different part of myself. It’s really interesting when people come into chat, and they accuse me of being fake. I don’t disagree with you, I don’t know who my authentic self is on stream yet. Every single day that I come on here I discover new things about myself that I’m willing to share with you, and new things about myself that feel important to share with you, and, and I love sharing them with you, you guys. I really really do. I surprise myself and I surprise you. I had another streamer recently say that I surprise them as well. And discovering that I have the ability to surprise even old pros at this game, really really makes me feel like I am where I’m supposed to be. Ehe, wishlistdestroyer: “ur not fake ur just crazy”! Yes! of course I’m crazy! I’m crazy in love, I’m crazy happy, I’m CRAZY high on life. I really really liked being where I am, I like the people that I’m with, and I have felt this way for my entire life. When it was in high school, when it was in elementary school, when it was in University, when it was in College. When I worked at summer camp, when I worked at the hot dog factory, when I worked for <unintelligible>, or when I worked as a Disney Princess. When I’m on twitch, I find people that I love, I find people that I like and I keep them close to me. The people who come back each and every day are the people that I want to see each and every day. And the haters can come every day if they want to, and I’ll be happy to see you too. Because at least you’re showing me that I’m important to you with your consistency. And if I can be nothing else, it is consistent! Because I will come back each and every day and I will give you new reasons to hate me, and I will give you new reasons to love me. Because that’s what you deserve and that’s what I deserve. I want to see how far I can go, I want to see what I can do on this platform. I want to see how far the blanket fort can expand. I want to understand the best parts of myself. And I’m not saying that I’m gonna find them on Twitch. But I think that I can find the best parts of myself. If I keep going, and I keep saying yes, and I discover the parts inside of me that I have been too afraid, too ashamed of, too apologetic! Do you realize how many times I wanna send a boy a picture of my fully exposed vulva, and the first instinct is first to apologize for even messaging him in the first place? I want to say I’m sorry that I’m bothering you, I’m sorry that I’m messaging you, I’m sorry that I’m texting you, I’m sorry that I’m dm’ing you, I’m sorry that I’m talking to you, I’m sorry that I’m caring about you, I’m sorry that I’m trying to figure out who you are, because all I want to do is open up enough dialogue so that I can expose everything about myself! The only thing that I want to do is expose who I truly am to you! But I feel self-conscious because people tell me that I’m fake, and people tell me that I’m faking these things, and that I’m psychotic, that I’m ADHD, that I’m on drugs. that I’m all these terrible things, but I’m not. What is actually happening is that I LOVE being here. I love being on Twitch. This has been a dream of mine for so many years, so many years that I’m embarrassed to talk about it. Can you imagine meeting a boy that you want to fuck, and the first words out of your mouth are “All I want to do is be a famous Twitch streamer.” He’s never heard of Twitch, he just wants to put his dick in you, and you’re talking about Twitch. Guess what motherfuckers, sometimes it works out. I FUCKED that motherfucker and he bought me this great big toy. Because I became a famous Twitch streamer! That motherfucker believed in my dream even though he had never heard of Twitch before. And each and every one of you believes in my dream. Because we’re on Twitch together today and I believe we can go even further, even higher, even more into the blanket fort. And I think that we can do it together. And I don’t know that I can’t do it by myself. I can literally only do it with each and every one of you. And I think that we can. This channel has grown bigger, and faster, and more intensely than any other channel on Twitch has ever before. The clips are good. Make sure the titles are sexy. Make sure that you do me good guys. Cause I come in here every single day covered in glitter, covered in sequins, covered in booty shorts, covered in nylons. So that I do not violate the terms of service, so that each and every one of you can have both hands on the keyboard, so that you can enjoy the stream, so that you can have a good time listening to me, playing with me, singing with me, smiling with me, enjoying your life. Which you do, you do deserve to enjoy. Each and every moment of your life you enjoy and each and every moment of your life is worthy. You guys, you can do it. You can be the best that you can be, and we can do it together. It’s gonna take effort, and it’s going to take patience, it’s going to take a lot a lot a lot of work. But if we don’t try then what the fuck is stopping us from just throwing ourselves off a bridge, and giving up, and saying “Yeah the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.” But that’s okay. Because do you really need anyone else!?