im as forgetful as half your conscience and im this close to being full of you (shitty poem for a shitty person)

im as forgetful as half your conscience 

and im this close to being full of you 

there was a moment in time where i didnt freeze with the coldness of touch 

im as welcoming as the mat outside your childhood home 

come in come in come in

the numbing experience of this everyday play pretend 

i used to look up from the pews but now i just keep my head down

think of you next to me, pray your sins away

wash off the grime 

calling you was my biggest crime 

i pick up the phone to let you know youre all mine

if you ever mean anything you say call me back but for now just hold your tongue between my teeth 

bite it off let you bleed 

for once ill let you wash off your well earned greed

im the bags under your eyes 

im the prayers you say after a lie 

im every bead in this rosary 

you never use 

you only call when theres no one else with a short fuse

i only let you because im fond of this abuse

am i just one of your play pretend friends 

am i nothing like i was years ago 

did i get too soft with time

have i deluded myself into thinking this is love 

is it ever this painful

or did i mix it up 

you only want me back to prove a point 

that youre everything you pretend to be

that youre everything and more 

im just the latest ego booster 

im the high shelf liquor to get you full of yourself faster

theres nothing else for you but the words i have to say

youre nothing and everything like everyone else i talked to today

you only miss the feeling you never missed me 

i offer the resistance you need

for your never ending quest to feed 

from the people around you 

from peers to close friends 

from the girls in your phone that never hang up

they love you like youre some sort of god 

i see through you whenever i hear your voice 

theres a tremble that nobody else picks up

theres that desperate little boy

who want nothing else but the world under his shoes

he never got too far, now you just want me to lose