last semester of college: a thread

january 16th, 2024

my last semester of college started today. okay technically it’s gonna start tomorrow because there was bad weather and they canceled classes because of it. but i’m officially in my last semester. i have 5 classes left. my tuition is paid, i already turned in my graduation application and now i’m just missing my cap and gown stuff (besides my grades ofc). but i still can’t process that it’s my last semester like ever. i’ve been going at this since fall of 2019 and i’ve been thru hell and back just trying to survive it all. i’ve changed majors 4 times. i’ve lost friends, relationships, my mind, honestly a lot of things really. i’ve experienced so much since then and it’s been crazy over all. i’m very appreciative of those who’ve stayed by my side through it all. i’ve made mistakes, a lot of them actually, but i finally have reached the end and i’m excited to see where it takes me. 

january 18th, 2024

it was my first back on campus after 6 months of not being in my college town. it was such a tiring day, i forgot about the many many many set of stairs. i learned new routes and new buildings. eating alone by myself and commuting took me back to my community college days. the whole introducing myself was awkward but they made it fun. for once in my whole college career i finally have a class with a friend. technically ex dorm roommate, it was nice reconnecting with her. i’m looking forward to learning certain things this semester. knowing ima end my college career with her in my class is nice. i’m tired and sore because my campus is all hills and stairs, but it’s gonna be worth it because i need the exercise. it wasn’t a bad day overall. sure the commute is long and whatever, but i was vibing so i’m kinda looking forward to this semester. i hope this semester goes by fast because i’m ready to go. 

april 20th, 2024

i went to the club/bar last night with my cousin and i got drunk ish. i wasn't sober, but i wasn't blacked out either. it was so fun bc i was downtown and i've never gotten to experience that. we were celebrating my 23rd birthday (my bday was on the 17th) and i really had a good time. this actually pushed me to attempt to do better for the end of the semester (graduation is in two and a half weeks y'all). i've been sheltered my whole life and this is one of those things that may seem silly, but it really made me happy. freedom is so nice and i can't wait to do it again. college has been fucking dragging me through hell and back, like its actually so stressful. but i can't wait to be done, i may not have a job, but i can at least say that i made it through college (don't recommend tbh). 

april 28th, 2024

i went to the club again, making it two weekends in a row clubbing and dancing, i really enjoyed it. i had so much fun with my cousin and her friends, i felt kinda awkward because they're all in their 30's and i'm not even 25 yet. but it was truly amazing and she got me thinking about my future. honestly i'm even more motivated to keep going with my future plans. i'm trying to live my best life and i refuse to be held back by anything or anybody. i have never had this much fun, especially on my own kinda. clubbing and partying isn't for everybody, but i've never been out (mexican households are strict) and its sad that i do this in secret. but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and enjoy your life. i can't wait to go out again.  

may 9th, 2024

i graduated today. i was anxious as fuck all day but i walked the stage with my one and only college bestie!!! i saw one of my favorite professors there and he gave me handshake, wished me luck and it helped me calm down a bit. also i blanked the fuck out as i walking, but i kept a smile so yay for that! anyways i've made several friends, mostly towards the end, but this girl has been there since the beginning and i love her so much. she of course went with her friends...i went with her because she was my only friend. its been quite the journey and i'm so excited for this new chapter in my life. seeing my parents be proud of me was so nice. for once we didn't fight and i got to hang out with people i care about. this is my mother's day gift to my mom because it was expensive obvioooo. today was such a good day. i was so nervous but i'm glad i got over it. dude my diploma cover thing is fucking huge??? it looks like a regular sized laptop LMAOOO. i can't believe i finally finished college y'all. i'm sad because a few people weren't here to see me succeed (mostly family right?). there's one person i was kinda like :/ about only because he was in my life for so long, anyways him not being here after being there the first four years kinda bothered me, but i'm okay. no contact after a year and something months is an accomplishment and i'm gonna keep it that way. i'm better off without him. anyways fuck him, time to start a new chapter of my life <333

may 10th, 2024

today we visited my 'grandparents' a few hours away for mother's day (because i'm mexican). my lore is super weird and fucked, but to me they're my grandparents and i love them regardless. they were super excited to see me in my cap n gown. context: my grandma is sick and she can't speak nor move, she struggles a lot. communicating is super hard, but we try our best. its heartbreaking to see her like that, but regardless i love her and ima be there till the end. today we did crosswords and we ate cake and hung out. i spent a good chunk with her and she was excited to see me. my lore may be fucked, but i'm the first girl born into her family which is why i'm special (at least i like to think i am LOL). i had an absolute blast today and i'm glad i got to see them. i'm sad not every family member got to witness me graduate, but i know that they're with me in my heart and that's good enough to keep me going. 

p.d. para los que se me fueron muy temprano...yo nunca los he dejado de amar y siempre pienso en ustedes. mas porque eran los unicos que si sabian muy bien lo que estaba haciendo (aunque me cambie unos semestres despues). se fueron sabiendo que estaba un poco miserable y batallaba mucho, pero yo se que ellos estan orgullosos y los adoro mucho. aunque no esten como quiera yo les doy las gracias!!! <3

last edit: my whole college experience was full of heartbreak, stress, problems, drama, literally soooo many fucking things. i've learned a lot and i wanna say i've changed a lot as a person. i'm not the same stupid 18 year old who started college in the fall of 2019. i'm now a different person at 23 years old. there's so much i want to achieve and i feel like i'm running out of time, even though i'm just now starting. i've lost many things throughout these years, but i'm grateful for everything and everybody. some things are just experiences we must go through. mine just happen to be constantly because i can't ever learn LMAO. college was fun and i'm gonna miss it. still nobody knows what i'm doing and you know what? i don't either so its chill, we're even i guess. thank you (college i went to) and (college town i lived in) for giving me the most interesting college experience ever. as much as you sucked i absolutely enjoyed being away from home and living like someone my age (for the most part). its been a long journey, but here i am y'all. por mi raza es que yo hago lo que hago. batalle un chingo para llegar en donde estoy. por mi familia es que estoy aqui y estoy muy agradecida con la vida. la vida me hice para atras porque de una forma me explico que no lo podia lograr, pero aqui estoy (los reales saben que esto es parte de una cancion del missa jajajaj), pero es verdad. yo se que llegare muy lejos y hasta tocare el cielo carnal. yo creo en mi y eso es lo mas importante. con esa me despido mi gente, gracias por estar junto a mi en esta experiencia tan !!! ahi nos vemos, chauuuu <333