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hi... yeah... i still exist.
i know, it's been like, 100 years. i'm back from hibernation. i just didn't have the motivation to sit my lazy ass down and type for a while. i was in a bit of a rut mentally recently, the unnecessary quarantine didn't help, but i'm doing better i think... i dunno. i'm gonna get help soon finally.
i realized i'm hella addicted to social media, it's the first thing i jump to when i am bored instead of actually brainstorming on doing anything else. i been terrified of being alone with myself this whole time, so i used the internet as a quick and easy scapegoat. but those times where i am alone with myself are surely the most important, as it gives me time to be with and learn to love myself. so i'm breaking that habit now. it's still a rocky start, though. my screentime has gone down overall, but i still find myself scrolling social medias far more than i want to be. at least i'm trying i guess.
anyways, grim self reflection aside, i had some awesome days recently actually! allow me to tell you!
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epic day #1
so after i got healthy from my weird, non-covid sickness, my dad wanted me to get out of the house so me and him went to go to one of my favorite thrift stores together. before going in however, we spent some time eating at chick-fil-a (i know...) from there, i infodumped to him about various horrific CIA crimes as i'm sorta hyperfixated on the CIA right now. but i'm not hyperfixated in the "wow these guys are so cool" way, i'm hyperfixated in the "these mfs are horrifically evil monsters" way. it was a good conversation surprisingly, i was able to get through him and i was happy about that win. all the other customers probably thought we were insane though for having such a loud discussion about horrific CIA experiments LAWL!!!!
then we went to that one thrift store i like, and i didn't find the cozy sweatpants for my boyfriend sadly, BUT i found him a cute tshirt of cool cats and kittens! :D i got him it as a surprise, and he loved it so much when it was revealed to him!!!!!
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epic day #2
ok so this entry will be a few days mixed together, i have a terrible memory of the passage of time. plz understand yaya :333
so this entry will include my BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDD we hung out a few times during this little blog break. we gave each other our late christmas presents (he was in the bahamas! remember!!!) and he gave me AMAZING AMAZING GIFTS!!!!!! he got me all the silly bumper stickers i wanted, and A GIANT SYLVEON PLUSHIE!!!!!!! AND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND HIGH QUALITY TOO!!!!!! :DDDDDD so fluffy tooooo!!!!!! i cherish it so much! i cherish HIM so much!!!!!! <33333
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epic day #3
ok ok ok!!! here is one of the most funnest days evar recently!!!!!!!!!!!! it happened a few days ago too. so in the midst of me feeling sharty and talking to my loved ones about it and stuff, my dad promised we would go out of the house/town more often to help me. cuz that helps a lot a lot. SO THIS DAY WE WENT TO SO MANY COOOOL THRIFT STORES!!!!! and when i say cool i mean SUPER COOL STUFF INSIDE!!!!!!!! i got a $200 quality inspector gadget lookin ass jacket for only 20 buckaroos! and it is so cozy and high quality feeling!!!!!!! gogo gadget FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the stores had actually cool fashion that is more up my alley, i even saw demonia replicas but NOT IN MY SIZE. WEEPS. i got massive ass feet. all they had for my size was like 2 boring black dress shoes. it was so so so fun to look through these cool stores though, and i even got my fit (nu metal adidas tracksuit head 2 toe) complimented by an older woman! thanks lady! and i had dinner with my sister and parents at a yummy burger place i like, where you get to make your own burger! and i make a KICKASS burger!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme tell ya. i was chowin down, globberin everywhere on that Thang. mm mm good.
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epic day #4 (yesterday!)
now this day was insanely epic. crazily epically epic of epic ass proportions. it started in the morning, i awoke and texted my boyfriend whether or not we were gonna hang out that day. he said "uh, i dunno babe, it's a damn winter wonderland out there!" and i looked out my window TO SEE... SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SNOW IN TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, understandably, I PLAYED IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I PLAYED WITH MY DOG AND THREW SNOW IN THE AIR FOR HIM TO CATCH AND JUMP AROUND IN! AND THEN I BLEW THE SNOW EVERYWHERE CUZ IT WAS POWDERY FLUFFY SNOW! THEN I JUST MESSED WITH SOME WITH MY HANDS. and i was about to get the sled and sled myself around when... MY BOYFRIEND SAID WE COULD HANG OUT!!!!!!!!!!! AND HAVE A SNOW DAY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY TO A SNOW DAY WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then we set up a minecraft server for us to get prepared!!!!!!!!! which i am sososoossoo excited for! then we cuddled and snuggled and snuggled and wuggled!!!!!!!!!!!! we snuggle for soooo long because i love cuddles so that's really all i gotta say on that. then he drove me home, we had to wait in the car for like 389543975884362 hours because the ice on the windows wouldn't thaw and i was FREEZING! but then my boyfriend got so brave!!!!!! and so strong!!!!! and he got outside in the freezin FREEZIN cold and wiped it all off with his bare BARE HANDS!!!! wow! so strong handsome boyfriend!!! >////< tehe! then he took me to chipotle for dinner before taking me home. he drove extra extra slow to be safe with possible ice on the road. he's so good and careful! it was so funny though, when he went to the chipotle doors, a guy was holding the door for us, but my boyfriend did not see the man so he SCREAMED AND JUMPED!!!!!!! ahah! so cute! he is never the one to get scared too so it was so random!!! i got yummy chipotle there thanks to my boyfriend, and once he took me home, i got home to see MY DAD GOT ME 3 POKEMON PACKS! no hits sadly, but i opened them with my kitty cat in my lap so it was a wonderful time nonetheless! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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also, i been on the duolingo GRIND recently and i'm proud of myself!!!!! i'm learning japanese btw. i'm on unit 1 section 6. my boyfriend is on unit 2 section 5!!!!!!!!!! i'm trying to catch up haha. i'm getting a real good hang of it!!! :D it's also just fun to learn.
ok, i'm very hungry and gotta go eat dinnar. hey! i wrote a post! i'm proud of myself! it took a lot in me to gain the strength to write this all, i can't lie. i found myself wanting to just give up and click off because the amount of mental energy it took. but i knew future me would be so happy to read the memories i forget about so, so easily (seriously... i have a BAD memory.) so i'm proud of myself. :)
bye guys! i must eat now!
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