Jet Black NY's eve

I try to remind myself that I'm still there.

I worry that it's getting harder and harder.

There is no pain, there is no salvation

I just want to feel something again

Before my eyes stop looking

I can't stop thinking about the comforting electric shock.

What gave me my already unaccustomed nerves

That morning when I drew suicide diagrams in my arms

Swallowing my words and thirsting for my impulses

There is nothing more I can offer

I opened old wounds to find my purpose

I realize that here nothing remains for me

Terrified by the shadows of the past that don't let me sleep

Condemned to repeat my mistakes

But there are so many things that I lost

The memories that haunt when my death was faked

I still remember what I wrote

The fear that I felt

And I'm about to stop living, without dying

It doesn't matter anymore, this is not a decree

But I want to feel again

Inhaling cigarette smoke under a starry night

Same stars that don't fit in my fault

But they don't fill my null regret

The same ones you drew on my arms

The same ones that gave me the peace that a being full of dysphoria needs.

So many images, so many sounds, so many feelings.

I feel that the goddess has removed my wings

It's such a revelation that I question my reality.

I don't want to reconsider my mental stability

I just want another sleepless night to spend

I abandon all traces of my sensitivity

And that desire returns from my veins to tear

Sick amounts of vampire blood to drink

It's the only thing that makes me feel

Like my tears over black roses spill

Is it a dream, a nightmare?

Fever dream coming back into my life

Life so dead coexisting in limbo

Of these famous last words

"you only live forever in the lights you made"

Fucking caffeine addict arsonist

That awaits the purest decay, far from your way home

Lost in nostalgia

Through your caffeinated eyes bathed in blood and tears.

-Burn!