the rot consumes

i'm back in my hometown since i'm on winter break before the second semester.

honestly, it was great for the first three days because it was nice to get a break from the big city i live in, but right now im tweakin cuz im getting reminded of how powerless and useless i was back in high school. 

where i stay in chicago, it isn't the nicest but im really independent and being back home and like relying on cars and being like under my mom is making me super anxious and just being in this town where nothing happens is stressing me out. makes me feel like when i had nothing to do always and was nobody and it makes me feel like everything i was working towards came to a halt. 

maybe its okay to feel like this, take a break, but i feel like i need to keep working, going to school, making music, or ill be sent back to this prison of nothingness where nothing happens and you die with regrets.

tl;dr: the suburbs blow (/_＼)