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Category: Writing and Poetry

KiBLS Poetry - Young souls...

Young souls...

Young in spirit, mature in body.
The behavior, it is still stiff.

Unreasonable and also stubborn,
it's going through a tough cure.

Grief and suffering,
make it ready for luck.

Learning more and more.
Loads the head like a gun.

In the end, stands a mature spirit,
which shows you your purpose.

    (written by KiBLS)

Written: ~2010 | Published: ~2018

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kitkatanddog

kitkatanddog's profile picture

I'm really enjoying your exploring of different rhyme schemes, it adds so much depth! keep up the great work c:


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Well, this poem doesn't rhyme because it was originally written in German and is only a translation. Unfortunately, that's an issue with all translations - all the rhymes and some of the energy of the original lyrics are lost. But I'm glad you nevertheless appreciated it. I think the essence of the message is still preserved and understandable :)

Have a great day/evening :)

by KiBLS; ; Report

as much as it being a translation could be an issue, I think it gives the poem more character, a sense of origin almost, that it's retained across language barriers. I do very much enjoy reading translated poems myself, so I don't think that detracts from it at all!
you too c:

by kitkatanddog; ; Report

Hm, well, I just think it's always advantageous to understand a poem in the language where it was originally written because mistakes can always happen in a translation and since I'm a rhyme fetishist, all the rhymes get lost... which personally bothers me a lot :D lol... but I'm glad you can cope with it. I mean, I did my best to translate everything as accurately as possible :)

Thanks again for the positive response!

by KiBLS; ; Report