sick day

Had to call off work today cause i was so ill i threw up a lot. Now they want me in for a meeting when i get better because ive taken a lot of sick days apparently. sorry for being ill ig. Now im just worried im gonna be fired. Like dude whats the issue? You schedule me like once a week and are surprised most of my shifts are called off? If i was scheduled a normal amount these sick days wouldnt look like so many. 

Anyway, my friends work is hiring so im gonna try my hardest to get a placement there for some fulltime work because im gonna need to start paying rent at the beginning or march and im worried im not gonna be able to afford it and get kicked out. Life sucks. 

I spent most of today doing housework so i didnt feel useless. Did washing and cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen.Not back at work until the 16th so im gonna try and get most of the build up of dirty washing done before then.

Ive typed out what i wanted to say to my stalker who apologised for everything hes done. Ive tried to write my response in a way that doesnt make him blow up and me but really sets in his mind how badly what he did affected me and reopened some old wounds that werent even healed yet. Im waiting for my friend to come back from work so im not alone when i send the message because one wrong move and everything goes to shit again between us and its terrifying. I just want it all to be over so i can move on and start healing.

Holy shit as I started writing this out my mum started screaming at my sister that if she doesnt tidy up her toys shes gonna chuck them all in the bin and berating her for not putting them away properly and shouting at her to stop crying. For perspective, my sister is 5 years old and non-verbal autistic. If i could put crying emojis i would cause like how do you expect her to 1. understand fully what youre asking her and 2. to stop crying when youre screaming at her? sucks hearing my sister get treated the way i was treated at her age. Really makes me see how badly i had it as a child. Like yeah, tidy up after yourself. Good life skill to teach kids early but the way my mum goes about it is so fucked up bro.

Anyway, venting part over. Ive been feeling fucked all day so i'm gonna take a nap for a bit untill my washing is done so i can hang it up.