managing anxiety and demand avoidance

one new development in my life recently has been severe anxiety - it hasnt been this bad since i was in middle school and medicated. i’m going to try to get back on meds, but in the meantime ive been working out how to handle it when every little thing sends me into a panic attack.

 i’ve been very anxious about the upcoming semester; i know it is going to be tough and a lot of work. i’m starting to get into the harder and nicher classes for my major (english, creative writing for those curious) which means that most days i have 60+ pages of reading to do per class and a lot of writing and analyzing on top of it. Even when it isn’t hard, its very time consuming. To try and help prepare myself I’ve been reading and writing for fun this past week, even if just to get back into the swing of it, as well as remember its not All miserable. I’m also having to kick myself out of demand avoidance bc thats not something that meshes well with assignments that need completed in a timely manner. 

I’m going to barnes and noble today to see if they have any of the novels i need and figure out what i need to order online soon. I might also splurge and buy ONE (just one terota…) book on my to read list this year if they have any. I have two already (virgin suicides and setting sun) but im excited to get my hands on one of those poetry collections i want to read.

anyways! sorry about the ramble! i feel better just getting it out and im sure a lot of people are sharing this sentiment right now 😅