henry

last night henry jumped

i got the call in the morning when i was making my coffee

in between mouthfuls i told my cousin i’d drive down for the funeral

she was always closest to him

i’d only met him a few times

and honestly he hadn’t made much of an impression

he was family i guess; but what does that matter

i don’t know why he did it

i doubt he knew either, when it really came down to it

some things can’t be rationalised; they just happen

i guess death just happened to henry

i wonder if he thought he’d go to heaven

i have to admit, i laughed at the thought of him at the pearly gates

he’d be embarrassed, it’d be too much fuss

he didn’t die loudly, or messily

he didn’t go with honour, like a kamikaze pilot

henry didn’t care about taking anyone else down with him

he didn’t want to be noticed

i mean, not only in death

his whole life he was just sort of there

and then he wasn’t

it was weird, the way something can just disappear

when you blow out a candle, there’s at least a bit of smoke

with henry there was nothing

it was more like flipping a switch

i sort of wish he’d done something more dramatic

not for his sake; he clearly didn’t care

just for like, existential reasons

even the funeral was forgettable

we just flushed him down the toilet in the end

but the whole thing got me thinking

how depressed does a fish have to be to jump out the fucking bowl