My Cat Died.

It has been 4 days since my boyfriend and I had to make the awful decision of putting my little bear to sleep. 

A little backstory about me. I once wanted to be a vet/ doctor, I wanted to help people and found later on that it made me incredibly uncomfortable being around pain. Not because I'm awkward but more like it gives me an ounce of trauma each time someone is experiencing pain physically sometimes emotionally. I'm not sure if I make sense when I say that... 

Seeing anyone in pain would give me a physical reaction. Anywhere between gasping, crying, and even physically feeling the pain myself. (this could just be my brain telling me what it would feel like) Either way it is awful.

I've had many animals in my 30 years of life but never one long enough to truly bond with me. Especially through such formative years like my 20s. I've yet to experience this pain and I feel blessed to have gone so long without it but no one warns you about the waves of grief that come with pet loss.  

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble. I don't like posting on my other socials. I don't feel like conversing with the people I know don't really care about what I am feeling. 

Also Urinary Blockage is a bitch and shelters should really do better when it comes to how early they neuter the kittens. Had they done it later in his life this would not have happened. I understand I am just trying to find someone to blame for my pain but really come on... 

This Sucks and I miss him so much. 

I couldn't figure out how to add a photo of him T.T