Taking Online Courses

I forgot about spacehey and I don't use it much, but as I was thinking about life I remembered this site has a blog function so I thought I'd send my thoughts out to the void to get them out of my head. Plus this is cheaper than paying a therapist. I don't expect anyone to read this, but I'll provide some context in case anyone is.

My time in college is almost over. I graduate in May. The whole time I've been enrolled I have purely been taking online classes. Everything has gone fine, but when I look back at making the decision to pursue my education online, I'm not sure if it was the right choice or not.

Let me start by addressing the elephant in the room. I'm sure some of you are hearing that I'm graduating in 2024 and thinking I started college back in 2020, so I didn't have a choice to go on-campus. However, I've been in an accelerated program that started back in late 2021 and since I was fully vaccinated, on-campus classes were something I could've done.

There are a few reasons I chose online courses, most of which boil down to one main aspect. I wasn't ready to go out into the world on my own. Living in a small New England town is all I've ever known and this school is in a part of the country with a much warmer climate. I've never had a job, I know how my brain works and balancing school and working wasn't possible for me in high school, god knows I wouldn't have been able to handle that while taking college-level courses. There were also some really cool local events I would've never been able to go to if not for taking courses online. But despite all of this, I still feel like maybe I should have gone on-campus.

I'm about five months away from graduating. At this point, I've put over two years into earning this degree, and while I've learned a lot, I feel like I haven't grown. Like, I've made improvements in what I do but I also feel like I'm missing a lot. For starters, and what's probably most important, I'm studying in a journalistic/broadcasting field and by taking courses online I haven't been able to get the experience of being in a studio like I would have on-campus. Part of me worries that once I do graduate, I'll have no clue what I'm doing once I get a job or internship because I haven't actually worked in the environment I studied to be in. Despite putting years into studying for a career in the field of media, I haven't experienced what it's like to work in that field. I find myself wondering, is an employer more likely to hire me because of my education or are they more likely to hire someone who has actual experience working in a studio?

This isn't as important as what I just talked about but it's important to me. I completely missed out on the college experience. I don't just mean partying and getting drunk or whatever. I've missed out on the experience of making long-term friends, exploring a campus, attending school events, going out to fun places with people on days off. Back when I graduated high school in 2020, I was robbed by the world of things like prom, graduation, and other senior events. I didn't have a choice in that, but I did have a choice in robbing myself of all the social experiences I would've had with an on-campus education, and I chose to rob myself of that. I haven't made a single friend from my courses over the last 2+ years. There isn't really a place for my classmates and I to just talk about stuff or organize online events. I'm horrible at socializing and it's possible that I wouldn't have made any friends on-campus, but I'm willing to bet I would've lucked into finding a group just like I have in the past. 

I had plans to go to an on-campus school before the pandemic. It was closer to where I live but far enough away that I could be my own person. I always told myself that I would not have been emotionally ready to go off on my own back then and the pandemic saved me from having a mental breakdown (despite having one during the pandemic anyways). But now I look back and think "maybe I'll never truly be ready." Maybe going on-campus back in 2020 or in 2021 would've screwed with my head and sent me in a downward spiral, but I don't know that. Maybe on-campus learning would've given me the push I needed to go out into the world, make friends, and have brand new experiences. Maybe I should've gone on-campus. Or maybe I should've tried something, anything to make more connections with people at my school. I guess it's too late to know now. I can't change the past. I'll never have that college experience.

If for some reason someone actually read this whole thing and is trying to decide whether to take online classes or go on-campus. Go on-campus. If it doesn't work out, you can always switch, but if it does work out, you'll have memories and experiences you never would've gotten online.