Sam Smith: The Rise of the Wokies

a species called by sam smith /'sæm smɪ́θ'/ is hiding in the bushes of dreamy fields of wheat, galloping, its rolls flopping in slow motion through the breezy sunlight.

"mommy... dont know... daddy's getting hot.." the smith yelps into the beams of sunlight, possibly calling to the rest of his tribe, but all he gets in return is the wooshing air through the fields of wheat...

"a-at... the body shop..." an unknown voice calls back after the suspensful silence.

It was the wokies, a whole pack of them lingering amongst the trees.

Recently, the ecosystem had been destroyed by the overpopulation of the wokies, an invasive and AGGRESSIVE species. Some biologists have speculated the Smith's (no affiliation to the band) behaviours are attributed to the presence of the wokies. Sam Smith wiggled his nipple tassels in retaliation to the Wokie's beckoning. He was woke, but he wasn't stupid. He knew the wokies wanted him for his large yield, enough meat the feed the clan for several weeks. Sam began to sprint, his rolls jiggling in his pursuit.

Despite his speed, he was outnumbered, the pack of wokies caused a stampede in the peace fields of wheat.

The wokies caught up to the Sam Smith quickly, pouncing on it and taking it down. The Sam Smith yowled out, "Ohhh EE Oh eee Ohhh!!!!", it's iconic sound of defense. However, it was no help. The wokies began to tear at the flabby creature, cutting through the fat with their gel acrylic nails as blood splattered around them.

The wokies returned to their clan, another bountiful harvest completed.

Juvenile wokies gathered around, staying close to their kin. As the feast commenced, they sang a song in honor of the hefty meal...

"Daddy don't know mommy's getting hot... At the body shop..." They sing the song of the creature, once alive, now dead.

It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience to see this ritual. That's why there's so little documentation of it. But if you are quiet enough, and careful... You might hear their calls…...

"Doing something unholy..."

by: me (calisto), aini, and parker