as of late (ford’s diary)

01 / 05 / 23

today i hung up my 5 STAR skz poster and it took a little while to get it straight, i got kinda frustrated with it 😭 i’m going to leave the mini poster and other stuff for tomorrow, i also have to figure out the “layout” of how i’m putting them next to each other. yesterday i also finally used the stickers (which were kinda part of the reason i bought the album, i love the 5 star stickers <3) and put them on my pen / stationery organizer.

moving on, i didn’t work on my screenplay again 😭😭. i don’t know why i keep going these things where i know i have to work but i just don’t . it’s like i’ll hang out for a while before i work because i think i have to “get into the right mood” in order to work, but really i just end up going “i don’t really care” or “ i’ll work in a bit”. and of course i don’t work on it at all … also having plans for drawing but never actually drawing anything new that i imagine is crazy. (also have to get a haircut and currently hate my hair … also stressed about break ending…)

this sort of thing happens to me almost all the time, i also wanted to work out over the break and now it’s past 10:30 and i go “oh it’s too late now”. like ashford what are you doing get it together handsome i know you’re capable and you’re literally so fine and passionate can you work for like two seconds 

like i’m so hard working but sometimes i’m so … not ? it’s not even procrastination because these are things i actually want and like to do it’s insane . but at the same time i am literally fine and my mood is just the same, these days are so boring and under stimulating but again, it all comes up to me being perfectly fine … i guess because i know things will change around again and i won’t be in this “slump” for long ..

anyway i think that’s it for now … not to end so abruptly but i’ll definitely try to write another one of these diary / personal blogs or follow up on this one soon !! i’ll be working on the art blog and making new edits !!