theres this girl..

so this girl, to clarify, is my ex. we dated for a solid 3 years before we went into high school. we had a fight, she started to text rarely n stuff and she wasnt in schoool either so i couldnt talk to her abt it. so i broke up with her n i got rly mad at her and started being mean to her when she joined the same school. i was rly mad at her, and idk why now, maybe it was a break up hate thing or summet idfk. but now i know that i like her again, and alot. i cant gather the courage to talk 2 her or be friends with her again so the best i can do is look at her. but she always caught me looking at her so she must think im like rlly creepy but all i wanna do is see how effortlessly adorable she is. sometimes before school shes sat with her best friend, and giggling in the library, where my friend group also chills out at before lessons. id just love to go quiet and listen to her all day. but she probably thinks im a creep, im not the best good looking person either, you could even say im ugly. im ugly, my bodys weird, im loud and annoying, and i dont see how someone as sweet and loving as her would even bat an eye on me. ive liked her for a year now, and the feelings just getting worse and worse, i dont know what to do.