#4

heyyy! New shitty blog update... This one will be kind of penis but wait, arent all my blogs kind of penis? Yeah, you should really bring your standards lower to the ground if you wanna read MY blogs, buddy........

I have a lot of blinkies to update my profile with but for now i just updated my pointer. After all it is no longer christmas spirit for a wile u_u

I notice i don't talk a lot about my real life atall online. I guess i just wanna keep atleast some things separate, i've never really had one stable persona like a lot of other people are capable of. Today i visited my aunt (in -22c weather!!! ITS SO FRICKING COLD!!!) and told her i would like to come visit more. My new years resolution was to be more sociable with my grandma that i live with too... i just forgot how to socialize for a while i guess. Or, most of it wasnt worth it back when i lived with my parents. Now it is, because i really like my grammy, shes nice unlike how a lot of my friends describe theirs, so it forces me to know not to take her for granted even more... So... I think it would help her oujt too, if i visited her daughter more often. I ahve social anxiety pretty badly, but today i had no trouble expanding a bit on some small talk. Maybe it's in how i dress.

...I need to buy more clothes, but i'm poor, so every other purchase reduces my pocket money back to 0. Visited a cheap old clothes store today, but even that seemed so expensive. I really want to dress butch, i think it honestly makes me a brighter person. I think that's who i am... I'm just scared not just of dirty looks but what else the source of them could bring them to do. To me. I'm a bit paranoid too, but i think at some point it's justified. isn't it fucked up? But... it's important to remember that not all of it is justified. atleast for me. But also, for eveyrone. so they don't end up like my mother did.

I got a new keyboard and mouse ! It's not a gamer mouse and not a gamer keyboard and im hapy. I like plain stuff sometimes. I also ordered some charms! No one here probably knows of witch's heart, right? I've been a fan for about 3 years now... i'm eager to put them up on my corkboard and maybe even hang em on a keychain or something! I'm afraid to with the bigger ones but i think ill be getting some smaller ones with this one aswell.

Decorating my room, decorating myself... my profile... it's all so fun. Im happy i have the chance to do it more now. :)

Btw, recently, i have also been reading raging loop. I'd love to make a blog based entirely on a game sometime, and to then maybe post it in a category other than blogging. Would it be better to just leave a steam review or something? Nooo....I have way too much to say. Plus i pirated it, LOL! Anyway this game seems to suck somewhat. visual novel sorry. It was an incredibly engaging read for the first 2 routes, and now it's just sucking and being lame and also somewhat disgusting. Are there any officially published visual novels that aren't garbage? How did i end up here? In garbageland aka being into visual novels?

Friend's friend suggested i read fata morgana. I was like, Lol, maybe, but no it's definitely not happening. i'm not even slightly interested in htat authors work for some reason. i just dont vibe with it. not kriscore. doesn't have my same beliefs in the world. THey're really important.

Other than that, i really liked raging loop... stuff ive heard of it before scared me away earlier but im happy i got to experience it in the end, even if the shit said about it is justified, and i do not not have a love hate relationship with it...