so sick of being like this..

i feel like such a loser because i am not like the rest of the people my age...they all post themselves out partying whilst drinking and smoking with others having fun. the only parties i have gone to are birthday parties LMFAOO!! i also am not in college, don't have a (real) job, and to top it all off- i don't even have my damn license! i know you don't need to drink or smoke to have fun and enjoy life but i feel so behind everyone else and it doesn't help that i rarely have any friends and i am soo awkward in person i can rarely hold conversations because the shyness just consumes me. that's why i haven't even had my FIRST KISS like this is embarrassing. I am embarrassing and a weirdo. >:(